


Justice

by FandomVulture333



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Attempted Abortion, Broken Hearts, Dean and Castiel are Straight at First, Divorce, Drunk Sex, Harvelle's Roadhouse, Kansas Abortion Laws, M/M, Mpreg, One Night Stands, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Triggers, change of heart, graphic birth, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-19 07:45:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4738274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomVulture333/pseuds/FandomVulture333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester just got dumped by his fiance Cassie the night before their wedding. Castiel was caught looking at pornography by his wife Daphne and is demanding a divorce. They meet while drowning their sorrows at the Roadhouse. Too drunk to drive, Ellen suggests they take Ash's room for the night. They take it and one thing leads to another and they have sex. After they say good bye and Dean gives Castiel Sam's law office info, Dean thought he would never see him again.</p>
<p>A few weeks later Dean goes to his doctor and finds out he's pregnant and demands an abortion. But he has to follow Kansas Law when it comes to that. While he is waiting his 24 hours he starts to become attached to the little one. Now he is divided with what to do. Have an abortion and pretend this never happened or keep the little bugger and raise it as a single father.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fan fiction that may trigger some people. I have alerted that this story does contain that and should be taken as a warning.

Dean Winchester was sitting at the Roadhouse bar, trying to collect himself after three purple nurples. Not only that but he also had two bottles of beer next to him. He had just been dumped and clearly not taking it very well.

“I gotta cut you off now honey. Give me your keys, you are sleeping in Ash’s room tonight.”

Dean looked up and saw Ellen Harvelle with a stern look on her face with her hand held out to collect his keys. He chuckled weakly and said,

“Give me a black coffee and that will help me sober up.”

It didn’t sound any better to her.

“I’m not taking that risk. I’ll give you the coffee but you are still staying here tonight. If I see that Impala missing from the lot when I close up, I will call the police on you.”

Dean reluctantly put his keys in her hand as she traded them for a strong cup of coffee. He started to nurse it and he was becoming more sober by the minute. Once he felt his face becoming less numb, he went to use the mens room. When he got back to his seat there was a gentleman sitting right next his bar stool. The man was taking shots of tequila and looked even worse shape than Dean was at this point.

Dean got back into the seat and sipped more of his fresh cup of coffee. He looked over and had to ask.

“What’s eating you tonight bud?”

The man looked up and Dean caught himself staring at his hawaiian sea water coloured eyes. They were mesmerizing. The combination of them with his olive skin and dark almost black hair was making it hard to ignore his attraction to him.

Dean had been to Hawaii with his now ex-fiance Cassie. She dumped him tonight on the eve of their wedding. Turns out she had been seeing another guy as well as him for a year during their two and half year relationship and had gotten herself pregnant and decided to stay with the man she procreated with instead of Dean.

The blue eyed man wiped his sleeve across his face and replied,

“My wife Daphne kicked me out of our house. So I’m drowning my sorrows here.”

Dean was interested in his story.

“May I ask why?”

The man responded, “She found out that I’ve been looking at porn. She’s a devout religious woman and also claims I’ve been cheating on her. I’m supposed to sign the divorce papers first thing on Monday.”

Dean was a little surprised that this guy. He wondered what kind of porn but that thought exited out of his head quickly

“How long were you together?”

“Three years total. One and half years dating and then other year and a half married. She wants everything and I don’t know if I want to fight her but she’ll ruin me if I don’t.”

Dean realized that this guy was in worse shape than he was tonight. Then he remembered his brother.

“Hey listen here, my brother has a law firm just outside of town. I’ll give him a call and we can get you someone for the divorce papers and the division of property.”

The man sniffled a little and then smiled at Dean.

“That would be great. My name is Castiel by the way, Castiel Novak.”

Dean smiled now knowing the man’s name. He put his hand out and they shook hands as Dean spoke.

“Dean Winchester. It’s nice to meet you Cas. You mind if I call you Cas?”

Castiel was a little taken aback as he could sense he was being drunk hit on.

“If you want to take this somewhere else then we can?”

Dean was full on gobsmacked by what he just heard. He may not be fully drunk but did he just get picked up.

“Are you suggesting we hook-up?”

Castiel smiled.

“I know its sudden and fast but first I want to hear your story over a few more drinks. Then we can decide drunk.”

Dean was laughing on the inside at what was going on. He wanted to know if someone had sent Cas to help him forget Cassie.

“Okay, order me a double shot of whiskey and you can have whatever you want. Ellen here cut me off, that’s why I’m drinking this black coffee.”

Castiel the attention of Jo, Ellen’s daughter and one of Dean’s ex-girlfriends, and got them their drinks.

Dean sipped his whiskey and Castiel drank three more shots of tequila.

“So what’s your story? Why are you here?”

Dean knew he had it coming.

“My fiance dumped me about three hours ago. We were supposed to get married tomorrow but then she told me that she had been having an affair with someone for about a year and got knocked up by him. She chose to leave me and be with him for the sake of the baby.”

Castiel saw tears creeping into Dean’s eyes and then slapped a hand on his shoulder and held on.

“Us tonight should help. I couldn’t help noticing that you are happy to see me and I am too. But clearly I am drunk so who knows what I’m seeing.” Castiel was slurring a little.

Dean could see now they were both drunken messes but then he remembered that Ash’s room was free as told by Ellen.

“We are both out of it Cas, Ellen told me about my friend’s room thats available over there.” He pointed at a door a few feet away from the bar.

He saw Castiel smile and they both put dollars down on the bar for their tab and held onto each other as they walked to the bedroom. Once the door was shut, Dean shoved Castiel up against the wall and rutted his hardness into Castiel’s crotch while playing a vigorous battle of tonsil hockey with him. Castiel reciprocated with undoing Dean’s dress pants, the ones he was supposed to wear at the rehearsal, and got them to drop instantly. Dean’s cock sprang free through the hole in his boxers and was already leaking.

“Cas, I need to to fuck me now and hard.” Dean moaned as he let go of Castiel for air.

Castiel nodded and then pushed Dean onto the bed and jerked his jeans and boxer briefs off, kicking them off to the side, before pouncing onto the bed and climbing on top of him. Then Dean took off the remaining clothing and and then fished for a bottle of lube between the mattress’s. When he found it he thrust it into Castiel’s face and started to whine.

“I NEED YOU!” He groaned as Castiel started to finger Dean.

“Clearly someone is impatient.” Castiel muttered under his breath.

Then he slicked up his aching member, positioned himself and pushed his way into Dean’s tightness. He must have never had anal before in his life. Castiel put his arms underneath Dean’s shoulder blades and humped hard into him. He could hear Dean panting and twitching a little on his cock. Castiel wasn’t going to last long soon. Dean had so many sensations going through his body that it didn’t matter if Castiel wasn’t going to last long.

“Oh FUCK CAS!!! AH!”

Dean spilt himself all over their bodies and Castiel followed soon after. Breathing heavily, Castiel laid on top of Dean as they were both collecting themselves. The whole night was a blur of alcohol and sex when they woke up the next morning. Castiel had rolled over to the side of the bed and out of Dean sometime during the night. They realized what had happened as the massive hang overs wrecked through their bodies.

“Oh fuck man.”

Castiel had woken to Dean’s cussing and looked over and then realized that he had screwed him last night. They both consented to it but they were drunk too. Castiel turned to face Dean and then it hit him.

“So we...?” He started groggy.

“Yeah Cas we did.” Dean confirmed with regret.

“Are you?

“No, I’m straight.”

“Me too.” Castiel face palmed.

Now they both realized that they were two straight guys that just had relationship troubles and had been so intoxicated that they slept with each other.

“Wait, did you use protection Cas?” Dean rushed. He couldn’t afford to catch anything these days.

“I just had a physical last month. I’m clean, don’t worry.”

Dean sighed with immense relief.

“Okay, just checking.”

Now they had to awkwardly get dressed and leave now.

“Rock paper scissors for who gets dressed first?” Asked Dean.

Castiel turned to look at him and had his hand out. Dean played rock and Castiel played scissors. Dean got out, while Castiel didn’t look, and got dressed first. Then he left the room and closed the door. Castiel followed him shortly and saw Dean at the bar with two glasses, a pitcher of water and a bottle of aspirin. He slowly walked up, poured himself a glass of water and took three aspirin and downed them one at a time with glugs of water. It was icy and refreshing from the mugginess of the room they slept in.

“So about last night...?” Castiel started.

“It was fun because we were drunk and we had gone through some bitter break ups recently.” Dean finished.

Castiel chuckled. “Yeah honestly that was fun. I really needed to get that out of me.”

“I’m happy to hear that because I needed it too.”

Castiel sat down next to Dean and they clinked their glasses of water and finished their glasses before pouring refills.

“I asked Jo to cook us some breakfast. Would you like that?”

That perked up Castiel, he could feel that he was running on empty.

“That would be fantastic. What did you order?”

Dean replied, “I ordered eggs, sausage and home fries.”

“Thanks, I love sausage.”

“That’s what she said.” Dean snickered.

“I’m going to let that one slide because we are hungover but I hate those jokes to be honest.” Face palmed Castiel.

Jo came out shortly with two heaping plates full of food. The smell was intoxicating and as soon as she left, they started to shovel in the food like they hadn’t eaten in weeks.

“Jo says that we are on the house since I kept my promise not to drive last night. Her mom Ellen will hand me back my keys when we’ve finished this pitcher of water.”

Castiel could sense that the Harvelle’s were very caring people. Dean was being treated like he was their son.

“They treat you this well all the time?”

Dean looked at Castiel.

“Ellen is my godmother. When my parents died she took care of me and my brother. She didn’t like that I did dated Jo at one point, but I never slept with her so we don’t have too much beef. She even made me take a lie detector test and I came back truthfully. However she doesn’t know that my brother has slept with her though and Jo, Sam, and I want to keep it that way.”

Castiel found it surprising that they family had a dirty secret like that.

“We weren’t adopted by her so its not really incest when we think about it.”

Castiel finished his last glass of ice water and popped that last piece of fried potato in his mouth before looking at Dean.

“I wish I had a support system like you. My family hears about this divorce I’m sure they are gonna want to disown me. They don’t believe in divorce and certainly not the use of pornography.”

Dean sipped his water, “Prudish much?”

“Yeah,” Castiel shook his head, “They grew up Catholic, that’s why my name is Castiel. Originally my name is supposed to be Cassiel but they liked this version more.”

Dean was now intrigued.

“Do you have any siblings?”

“Yeah, but we are all adopted. They believe that you can be “Pro-Life” but the best way is to give a life to an unwanted child. So my brother Uriel was adopted from Africa. My sister Anna from Ireland and my other brother Gabriel is from the Scandinavian area. They call him Loki sometimes because of all of the pranks he would make, just how Loki is a Norse trickster.”

“Where are you from?”

“I’m actually their nephew.”

“What? How did they adopt you?”

Castiel wiped his hand over his face before continuing.

“My father, well they call him Lucifer but they won’t tell me his real name, was incarcerated for murdering my mother when I was a fortnight old.”

“Oh...” Dean became silent.

“He was convicted and I never saw him again. He was sent to death row about a year later and was killed by lethal injection.”

Dean was being hit hard with this news. He had is much better than Cas right now.

“I’m sorry man.” He clamped his hand on Castiel’s shoulder.

Castiel, who had dropped his head, looked back at Dean and said,

“It’s fine. Honestly I grew up better not knowing a lot. They only revealed this information to me when I was about to get married. So I’ve only known for a few years. But I brushed it off and looked at it as, My parents are the ones who raised me and not the ones who birthed me.”

Dean was now impressed by Castiel’s maturity.

“That’s a great way to look at it.” Dean then glanced at the time on his phone, it was 11:25am.

“Wow, its late. I should be getting going right now.”

Then he looked around and hollered, “Ellen, I need to go now!”

Ellen came out with the keys and gave them to Dean. She then looked at Castiel and was quizzical about why he was here.

“Did he...?”

“Yes he spent the night with me in Ash’s room and no I don’t want to talk about it.” Dean made it clear in his tone.

Ellen shrugged and walked back into the kitchen.

“Come on, let me show you baby.”

Castiel followed Dean outside, which they could handle a bit from the aspirin they took and water they drank. He then saw this shiny, black, classic car with the license plate reading KAZ 2Y5. It was a piece of art just looking at this car.

“This is my 67’ Impala. My dad left it to me in his will and when I was 18 I got it.”

“This is a beautiful car.”

“Thanks Cas.” Dean said as he slid into the drivers seat. He started the car and was just about to drive away and then he remembered and stopped.

“I never gave you my brother’s law firm number did I?”

Cas was running up to him to hear what he had to say.

“Oh yeah that’s right.”

Dean rummaged through his wallet and then found a business card and then scribbled an extra cell number on it.

“That’s Sam’s cell number. Give me a till three to tell him whats going on, okay?”

Castiel was smiling and then nodded yes.

“Alright Cas. Thanks for the fun night. And good luck with your divorce.” He saluted before driving away and leaving a cloud of dust in Castiel’s face.

They never thought they would see each other again, but boy were they wrong.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the trigger chapter. Good luck.

Dean was been feeling groggy everyday for the past six weeks. His feet and ankles were swelling and had been having to pee more these days. Even his eating habits had changed. The once carnivorous, 24/7 whiskey, beer and pie eating Dean Winchester now wanted to drink water and eat fruit and KALE? Just the smell of a burger was enough to put him off. It was weird but he brushed it off. People’s bodies change over time and he could be retaining water in his feet and ankles.

It took another two weeks of this for Dean to finally give up and go to the doctor. He made an appointment and the next day he was in an exam room waiting for his doctor. Dr. Benny Lafitte was not only the best doctor he’d ever had, but they were also best friends from childhood. But they had to keep it hush hush for legal reasons.

“Hey brotha, how are you doing?” Benny walked in smiling.

“Hey Benny, its good to see you.” He reached out and hugged him.

“So what can I do for you today?”

“I haven’t been feeling myself for almost two months and I need answers.”

“Benny got his laptop and was ready to start writing notes.

“Tell me your symptoms.”

Dean went on explaining and then the nausea part hit him like an arrow on a target.

“Have you had unprotected sex recently?”

Dean laughed and said, “Benny I’m straight and never been with a guy.”

Benny was trying to be convinced but he needed an answer without Dean’s knowledge. 

“I need you to give me a urine sample, I need to take a test with it.”

He handed Dean a cup and tissue, and then let him use the bathroom. Then he returned a cup full of pee and gave it to Benny. He then took a piece of some kind of paper and dipped it in it. It turned a neon pink colour.

“You are lying Dean. Its best that you tell me the truth right now.” He said with a cold tone.

“Benny I am.” Dean was getting frustrated by no answers.

“Well this sample and paper says you are pregnant. This isn’t the time to lie to me.”

“PREGNANT? That can’t be right!”

“Dean, have you had sex with a man recently?”

“How would you phrase recent?”

“Well from what you were saying, three months at most.”

Then it hit him, he had had drunk unprotected sex with Cas.

“I... Uh... Have had sex with a man about two months ago.”

“Then you should be about seven or eight weeks along. I’m going to get a sonogram machine really quickly so we can be sure.” Benny said as he left the room.

He then came back a few minutes later with the machine and turned it on.

“Please lie down on the table, unbutton your jeans and pull you shirt up. We have to wait for this to warm up.”

Dean did as he was told reluctantly. When the sonogram machine was ready, Benny went went to the counter on the opposite side of the room and grabbed a bottle of gel from a warmer, and was able to squirt some on Dean’s stomach. Then Benny got the wand and started to glide it across Dean’s belly. Dean was looking away and hoped that this wasn’t really happening. Then he heard Benny gasp and then Dean had to look. Benny had turned the screen and then he saw it. It was a blob with movement inside of it.

“That’s not real is it?” Dean frantically asked.

“I’m sorry brotha, but that’s a fetus inside of you and it looks to be about eight weeks along.” Benny sighed. He hate being the bearer of bad news to a friend.

Dean knew what he had to do next.

“I want an abortion.” He said coldly.

Benny, who was usually professional with his friends turned patients, gave a venomous look at Dean.

“Dean, I’m going to try my best and be a doctor to you first and not your friend right now. Would you like a medical or a surgical procedure?”

“I want what has the fastest recovery time.”

“Surgical it is then. Let me print you out some information to some local clinics.”

Benny threw a towel at Dean and left the room to get the info he printed off of his laptop. Dean knew Benny was going to have his opinion since he was raised in a religious household in the south. Benny didn’t care about what Dean did about in his spare time, but he was pro-life when it came to his friends pregnancies. Dean just learned about his and he was throwing it away like that.

Benny came back into the room and handed Dean the paper with a scowl on his face.

“Listen Benny, I know you mean well but this my life and my body. Thanks for your help.”

He showed himself out the office and made his way to his car before dialing the number on the paper. A woman picked up the phone.

“Kansas Reproductive Clinic, how can I help you?”

“I need to schedule an abortion.” He said without a care in his tone.

“Alright sir, have you seen a doctor?”

“I just came out of an appointment.”

“How far along are you?”

“Eight weeks and I want a surgical procedure.”

“When would like to have it done?”

“As soon as you can pencil me in. I can have it done today.”

“Kansas law requires counseling and a 24 hour waiting period before an abortion.And you will have to submit to an ultrasound too. Are you ok with that?”

Dean wiped his hand over his face in frustration. He now felt sorry for the men and women that had to go through this to get a single procedure done.

“I’ll do anything to make it happen faster.” Dean was already done with this day and it was only 9am.

“Alright sir I can get you in for a one o’clock appointment for the counseling and then you return on friday for the procedure. Does that sound ok?”

Dean breathed relief to finally get something his way for once today.

“Yes, I’ll take that and be there at one. I only live an hour away.”

“Alright sir, can I get your name and number?”

“Dean Winchester, my cell is...”

“Alright sir, we look forward to serving you.”

“Thank you.” And then he hung up.

He then started the car to go to his house and pack a bag for the three days he was going to be there for this. He was intent on terminating his pregnancy. He liked kids but from afar. Plus he wouldn’t want to be a single father and defiantly not the one having the kid. When men could get pregnant, they were usually in long term relationships when he saw them. That or they terminated the pregnancies about 95% of the time. Dean was straight and had been such a broken mess while heavily intoxicated when he had had sex with Cas. He was also going to keep this quiet and get as few people as he could involved with this.

Dean finished packing clothes and toiletries in a backpack, walked out of his house, locked the door and went to his car. The started the ignition and started driving off to Kansas city. He was able to get on the highway quickly and made the drive in less than an hour. He checked into a motel that was a few minutes walk to the clinic. Dean knew there would be protesters and did not want to risk his “Baby” to vandalism.

Once he threw his bag on the bed and sat down on it, the realism started to set it.It was subtle but it was creeping on him that there had been something growing inside of him for the past two months. But soon it would be gone and it would be a soon forgotten memory. Dean decided to take a walk to get some lunch before his appointment. He thought to himself that after this was over, he would be glad to be able to dig into delicious, juicy, fattening burgers again. For now though he went to a Smoothie King and ordered a large light n’ fluffy with protein powder in it.

As it started to creep closer to one o’clock, Dean started walking to the clinic with help from the GPS on his iPhone. When he got there he saw a barrier between the clinic and the protestors. They were holding signs with graphic pictures of aborted fetuses and bible verses that were condemning those who entered to hell. Dean had never known much about the abuse and harassment that women get when they go to these clinics. Then he saw a female clinic escort come up to him and helped walk him through the shouts and cursing from the pro-life protestors. His blood was boiling and he wanted to shout back but the escort saw that he was about to turn and yell but grabbed his arm.

“Don’t talk back to them you hear me? It only fuels the fire more. Now lets get you inside.”

Dean went through the doors with the woman’s help. When it shut, she held onto him still and then said,

“I want you to take some deep breaths and count backwards from ten. I will let you go then.”

Dean listened to her and then inhaled slowly and exhaled smoothly. The method worked and he quickly calmed down.

“Feel better now?” She asked.

“Much better. I can’t believe men and women get that kind of shit from people like that for being in control of their own bodies. It should only be their personal business and only with doctors involved.”

“I’m happy that I helped you get through here. I hope you make the decision thats best for you.” She smiled at him, “The check in counter is over there.” She pointed to the other side of the room. There were three women behind a counter that where stationed at computers.

“Thank you for your help.” Dean smiled back at her.

Then she left him and went back outside to help the next person.

Dean walked up to the counter and knocked on the counter to grab the attention of the receptionist. She looked up instantly and asked,

“Can I help you?”

Dean cleared his throat and started.

“I’m here for my counseling appointment for my abortion. Its at one. The name is Dean Winchester”

“Alright sir, I need you to fill out this paperwork and then hand it back to me and then you will be called back for your appointment.” She handed him a clipboard with several papers and a pen.

Dean then grabbed the clipboard and went to take a seat. As he filled out the papers he felt a little violated by some of the questions and the answers he had to give. Then he gave the clipboard back to the receptionist.

“Alright sir, you will be having a 30 minute session with Doctor Bela Talbot in a bit.”

Dean walked back to his seat and glanced at his phone. He was becoming more and more impatient with all of these laws and regulations that the state of Kansas had made for abortion and reproductive rights. He was defiantly voting pro-choice in the next election.

“Winchester!”

He heard his named called and then saw a woman in the doorway and figured that it was his doctor that he had been assigned to. He followed her back to her room and motioned him to sit the the chair across her desk.

“I must tell you first that I am not here to push you to any decisions that you don’t want to make. This is just me following the law. Afterwards you will have to wait an entire 24 period before the procedure. The ultrasound will happen first and then the abortion.”

Dean had listened carefully and understood what was going on. He cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable, and started.

“Well I want this for me. I don’t want to be a single father. This is just the product of a one night stand. I’m not even sexually interested in men. I was heartbroken because my fiance dumped me the night before our wedding. She had been knocked up by a guy she had been having an affair with for a year. Then the guy that I slept with had also gone through a bad break up and we were both incredibly wasted and then we had sex and never saw each other again. Now I’m here telling you why I want this abortion.”

Bela had been writing the notes into his file and then she had to ask him the stateand clinic required questions.

“How far along are you?”

“Eight weeks.”

“When did you find out you were-”

“I just found out this morning at my doctor’s appointment.”

Bela hoped that Dean hadn’t seen the look on her face when he answered that question.

“Why would you prefer a surgical procedure?”

“I want a faster recovery time.” Dean was going to answer these questions lightning round style. He just wanted to get this done and over with.

“Dean, I know you are impatient, but you have to understand that this is also a life changing experience and I think you are brushing it off like this for a reason.” Bela knew not to have input like that but she could sense that maybe there was more to him than this coldness that he was giving her.

Dean wanted to cuss her out and tell her that his reasons are no more her business than his own. But he didn’t want to be thrown out when he really needed this abortion.

“I like kids but from afar. My brother has two kids and they are a handful when I’m with them. I don’t want to be tied down to a child. I’m no fit to be a parent either, I drink and I sleep around with women. I don’t have time for a kid. Plus I’m trying to keep this quiet as possible.”

Bela listened and heard enough.

“I want you to come in on friday at 9 in the morning. The surgery will be at 10:30.”

Dean nodded and was handed a notice.

“I will walk you back out to the waiting room. Please hand that to the receptionist and everything will be set.”

“Thank you.”

Dean and Bela walked together and left after she showed him out. He then went back up to the counter and handed the notice to the lady. She looked at it, typed up the notes on the computer and handed the notice back to him.

“Alright Mr. Winchester you are all set. We will see you on friday.”

Dean grabbed the notice and then walked back out to meet the protestors again. He walked angrily past them and made his way to his motel room. Once he got inside and locked the door behind him. He made his way to the the shower in the bathroom to wash the day off of him. It felt good to clean himself off. At one point though he slipped a little and when he caught himself the first thing he did was place his hand on his belly. It was just instinct he thought to himself.

He got out and toweled himself off and put clean clothes on him. He sat back down on his bed and breathed in and out deeply. The stress was going away for now. He could feel his stomach growl again and had to admit to eating to satisfy it. He went out again to eat at a real restaurant, this time Panera where he ordered a turkey bacon club with an apple. He took his time enjoying his food. Then he thought maybe the fetus was enjoying his meal too. He looked down at his stomach and placed a hand on it again and he almost smiled.

“Dean Winchester what is wrong with you? You don’t want this. You want this thing gone.” He muttered to himself.

He got up and left to go back to the motel. He was exhausted from the whole ordeal of today. Falling asleep was easy that night.

He woke up the next day, not ready for the day ahead of him. The waiting period was going to kill him today. Dean decided to go to a museum to kill time. He found one that is history and science and drove the Impala to go visit. He parked the car and went inside. He saw exhibits on American history and technological science. Then he found an exhibit on American classic car history and found his happy.

“Hey lets go to that one over there.” He said to himself aloud. Then it hit him that he was talking to it again. He brushed it off and kept on forward. He saw old car remains and what parts are used to restoration.

“Baby would love this exhibit. I don’t think she’ll like you too much at first.” Dean knew he was talking to it again. He didn’t know whether or not to keep calling the fetus inside of him it or if “it” should be called a baby.

“No Dean, you will go through with the surgery tomorrow and that’s that.” He said to himself quietly so the baby couldn’t hear him say that. Wait, could the baby hear him at this point? He didn’t know much about pregnancy and development. He knew that the baby inside of him had a heartbeat but that was it. Now he was calling “it” a baby. WTF is wrong with you Dean?

Then he made his way to get a slice of pizza from the cafeteria and was able to enjoy it as greasy food had been hard to keep down these past few weeks.

“Did you enjoy that? I sure as hell did.” Dean said as he stroked his belly, content with the pizza in him, “Oops heck, I meant to say heck.” Did I just correct my language to the baby?

Dean then made his way back to the motel and was getting ready for tomorrow. He laid on his bed and started looking through his facebook feed on his iPhone. Nothing special was happening really, however he did pay close attention to Benny’s posts. Even though Benny had to have patient doctor confidentiality, he sometimes did post about the stuff he had to work with. Only bizarre cases though and he would never give out too many details. Benny was, like he said he was going to be, keeping Dean’s business off of his feed.

Then he looked up some pregnancy information on WebMD.com. When he looked up the development at eight weeks, this is what it said. 

 

“The baby is now a little over half an inch in size. Eyelids and ears are forming, and you can see the tip of the nose. The arms and legs are well formed. The fingers and toes grow longer and more distinct.”

 

“You have little hands and feet already?” He looked down at his stomach, this time actually talking to the baby, “Wow man, thats awesome.”

Wait? Was Dean becoming attached to the baby now? Well he was calling it a baby now and usually people who become attached to their pregnancies call the little one a baby. But Dean really wanted an abortion. That was the whole intent of coming down to Kansas City was to get one.

“I need to sleep on you is that ok? I’m beat from walking all day with you in me. I hope you enjoy yourself in there. You wont be here for long...” Dean actually was becoming sad at that thought. Him and the baby had been getting to know each other now for a few days and maybe he shouldn’t go through with this anymore.

“No, I need my sleep. Wake up with a clear head.” He turned the light off and silenced his phone and it took a while but he fell asleep.

That night he dreamt of a little boy pushing himself through his house on his toy scooter. Dean was smiling and laughing as he picked up his son and blew a raspberry into his stomach. It was him laugh and Dean held onto him close.

“Daddy loves you so much, you know that?”

“Da Da!” His son giggled.

Dean smiled and acted surprised, “I’m Da Da? No I can’t be Da Da. I bet we can find him though.”

His son loved this game that Dean would play with him. It only made them both smile and laugh to their hearts content. But then blood started to leak from the walls of the house and his son became red, chunky, sludge slipping out of his hands. Dean was pleading and begged the heavens to bring him back.

“I’m a wreck without him. He gave me my life!” He cried out, tears flowing like waterfalls from his face.

And then Dean woke up in a cold sweat, shaking and crying.

“Dean you have to do this for you. This is the best choice that you have made in a while. Your life stops if you don’t have this abortion. Is that what you want?” He yelled into the pillow. 

He thought this was going to be easy as one two three but it wasn’t anymore. This was now a heartbreaking decision that he was making. But he was still convincing himself that this was best for him at the time right now.

Falling back asleep was hard but it eventually happened. Then the alarm on his phone woke him up. He was groggy from the restless night. A quick shower and packing up his bag so it would be easy to leave. He knew he had to bring his Impala with him now. Making it easier on himself to move faster when this was all over.

He got to the clinic about ten minutes before his appointment and there they were again. He was able to park his car out of sight of the protestors and hoped to God that she wouldn’t be harmed. He walked up to the door through the yells of “eternal damnation” and made it through. He counted backwards from 10 again and made his way up to the counter with the slip of paper from the other day. The receptionist took it and checked him in the system.

“Dr. Talbot will be with you shortly.”

Dean made his way to a seat and couldn’t get comfortable. 

“This is it,” he said to himself, “This is what you came for. This is really happening now.”

“Winchester.”

Dean saw Bela again and walked with her to an exam room for the ultrasound part of the procedure. He lifted his shirt and undid his jeans. The machine was ready and Bela had already squirted gel on his stomach and started to roam around on his belly. Then she found the fetus. BABY! Its a baby Dean!

Dean was really trying hard to stay focused now. He looked at the screen and couldn’t believe his eyes. Little tiny blob inside of him was a person that he could be a father to or terminate today and never have a chance at life. This was becoming incredibly hard for him now.

“Can you print me a picture?”

Bela could sense something new in Dean and printed out a picture for him. She handed it to him and he held it so tenderly. It was a blob alright, but it had little arms and legs and a cute baby nose was forming. NO DEAN STOP RIGHT NOW AND HAVE THE DAMN ABORTION!

Then Bela cleaned off the gel and took Dean to a changing room and gave him a gown to wear.

“I will come to get you in a bit.” She walked off leaving him all by himself and alone with his thoughts.

Dean was now trying to motivate himself to go through with this, but it was becoming harder by the minute. He had changed and then Bela came back and led him to an surgical room with a chair with stirrups attached to it.

“Please lie down on the chair and place your feet in the stirrups.” Bela instructed Dean to do.

He did as he was told. Dean wanted this abortion so badly, why was he changing his mind? Could he at this point?

“Alright Dean, I’m ready to give you the anesthesia. Are you ready to start this?”

And now he was prepping himself by counting to 10 and then 20 and then 30 and he couldn’t stop counting until the image of the ultrasound popped in his head. The little blob that would grow into an actual baby and he would have to deliver it, raise it, and watch his baby grow up right before his very eyes. All of that will be gone if he goes through with this. Every single parenting opportunity will vanish and he may never have another chance like this again. Little baby with sandy brown hair, green eyes, and freckles all gone. His mini me that will never happen if he goes through with this abortion. Never again will he have another one just like this one.

“Dean are you ready?” Bela asked one more time.

Dean looked down at Bela with a fierce look in his eyes and said angrily,

“NO!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My pro life friends would be so proud of me right now :D
> 
> I am very pro choice and am very much against laws that restrict women from making their own reproductive desicions. I did do my research and that is the actual Kansas law. I also disagree with personhood laws. I could go on and on about my beliefs but let's focus on the story and not me


	3. Chapter 3

Dean jumped off the chair and ran to get the gown off and his clothes back on. He ran fast to get out of the office, the waiting room, the building. The look on his face was frantic and scared, he had tears running down his face. What had he almost done was sickening. The protestors saw him and his expressions and they cheered and praised God and Jesus that a life had been saved today. Dean ignored them and made his way back his car and drove off as fast as he could. When he got back to his house, he went up to his bedroom and laid down on his side and began to cry. He couldn’t believe he almost went through with this. He almost did away with his baby. He almost killed someone.

He couldn’t stop crying for an hour and when he finally pulled it together he knew he had to make the call to Benny. He got his cell phone and pressed his name in his contacts list. The phone rang three times before it answered.

“Dean I can’t talk to you right now-”

“I didn’t do it. I didn’t have the abortion.”

Benny on the other side was grinning ear to ear.

“Do need help finding a doctor?”

“Yes Benny, and I also need you to help give me the strength to tell my friends and my brother.”

“Brotha I can’t give you the strength you need. Support yes but not strength.”

“Maybe that’s all I need right now.”

There was a pause before Benny asked,

“Why couldn’t you do it?”

Dean started to tear up again.

“I started to like the little guy. I began to imagine life with him and what I might be missing out. I know I’ll be a single father but I can make it work... Benny I was so far as ready to get the anesthesia before I changed my mind. I can’t believe I almost went through with it. I will never forgive myself for that.”

“Dean, I’m glad you figured this out on your own. Some people believe abortions are easy when really they aren’t.”

Dean started to pull himself together, “Thanks Benny. I need to go now. I have to start prepping for when he gets here.”

“Anytime brotha.”

The call ended and Dean sat up. He placed a hand on his stomach and stroked it a little.

“Daddy almost did a bad thing, but he won’t ever think like that again. Daddy loves you so much.” He smiled down at his baby.

He then realized that he hadn’t eaten anything today and went downstairs to make himself a grilled cheese with tomato sandwich. It didn’t affect his nausea too bad which was great. But now he had to look up all the foods he would need to avoid from the threat of listeria. He was already becoming a dad before his very eyes.

He finished cooking and went to the table and chairs and sat down to eat. The home cooked meal was comforting to him and his whole ordeal that he had been through. But it didn’t help with the comings of telling his friends what is going on. His brother, Sam, would have to be the first person in on this. He also realized that he would need to know his family law rights. He didn’t want anyone taking his baby after going through what they did.

When he was finished and wiped his hands on a napkin, he decided to make the call. Sam was probably still at work. The phone rang twice,

“Dean are you ok?” Sam asked. It was usually this hour he would call if things were bad.

“I’m fine Sam, I need some legal help.”

Sam was a little blown away by this, “Uh sure Dean. I can help you but I need you to come to my office. I have too many things that I need to attend to that I can’t talk about over the phone.”

“Yeah that’s fine Sam. See you in a few.”

They hung up and Dean went to go and shower and change his clothes. Starting the day over again with a clean body and clothes felt refreshing. Then he walked out of his house, locked the door and went and started the Impala. Driving off to seek council so no one could touch his baby was giving him nerves. He was still in disbelief that he almost got rid of his little guy. But it now felt amazing to be in charge of his and someone else’s future.

When he pulled into a parking space at the building complex that Winchester Law office was, he took a deep breath while rubbing his belly.

“We have to do this little man. I don’t want anyone doing harm to us or take you away from me.” He spoke down to it.

He got out of his car and walked inside of the office. A receptionist was at the front and glanced at Dean for a second.

“Dean, its so nice to see you. Are you here for Sam?”

He smiled at her, “Yes Jane, I’m here to see my brother.”

“Sam is busy with a client right now but you can wait outside of his office till he is done.”

“Thanks Jane.”

Dean walked down the hall and towards the last office in the back. What was cool about the office’s is that they had glass walls and doors. There were opaque dividers between the office sides but the front and doors were see through. Walking down and finally sitting in the chair outside Sam’s office, Dean felt nervous about telling his brother what was going on. His pregnancy wouldn’t remain secret for long after this. The nerves were giving him some really bad nausea. Thankfully he knew where the bathroom was just in case.

A few moments later the door to Sam’s office opened and he heard him talking to his client, who happened to be a husband and wife, and he could see out of the corner of his eye that they were shaking hands.

“We will be in touch Mr. Winchester.” The husband said.

“Thank you for your service today.” The wife said.

“Anytime, I look forward to setting up a hearing.” Sam said with confidence.

The couple walked out and then he heard Sam sigh, this must be a tricky case.

“You can come in now Dean. I know you are out there.”

Dean smirked at his brother’s tone.

“You are a smart ass sometimes you know that?”

“Just get in here jerk.”

Dean walked into the room and closed the door behind him.

“Hey bitch, what was that back there?”

Sam rolled his eyes, clearly not wanting to talk about it, but said,

“They have a custody case that we are working on. They want to be legal guardians to their daughter’s six children. She is a repetitive drug abuser and has been arrested so many times that her parents want all her children.”

Dean was glad that he didn’t have to do Sam’s job.

“Wow thats a doozy.”

“Ok well enough about them, what’s your case? Why would you need family law help?” Sam was genuinely interested. He knew Dean maybe got in trouble for drunk and disorderly conduct once or twice but this was all new.

“Well uh,” Dean swallowed, his throat was dry and his tongue thick, “There is a new event in my life that I need to know my rights about.”

Sam could tell where this was going but was hoping that this wasn’t true.

“Dean what is it?”

Dean took a deep breath and counted down from ten before exhaling.

“Sam... I’m-”

Before Dean could finish there was a knock on the door and a sharply dressed man with a slick hair cut barged in, he looked furious.

“Mr. Winchester this is ridiculous, tell your client to drop the divorce and make him sign all of the papers.”

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose in disgust.

“Bartholomew, I was having a private conversation with my brother. Can this wait right now?”

“I don’t care if if he was dying right now, Ms. Novak or now she wants to be referred as Ms. Allen now, wants this divorce quick and clean as possible.”

Novak, why does that sound so familiar? Dean thought to himself.

“Bartholomew I will be with you shortly. Please go back to your office and wait for me.”

Bartholomew scowled at Sam, “You got 30 seconds.” He slammed the door behind him.

“Sam I can-”

“Dean stay, it will only be a minute. This Novak divorce is just getting messier by the day. The ex-wife wants everything and I’m getting my hands really dirty with my case.”

“Can I at least walk out with you?”

Sam looked up at Dean and nodded yes.

“Tell me what’s wrong tonight. I want to cook you dinner. Amelia has been dying to see you again.”

“Sure can do.” Dean grinned. He loved his wife Amelia, she was always bubbly around them when he visited.

They both got up and walked out of the room.

“What did you have in mind for dinner?” Asked Sam.

“I can’t really stomach fast, greasy food right now. Maybe something healthy?” Dean winced at saying this.

Sam was full blown gobsmacked by this. Dean LOVED his burgers and greasy food.

“Have you been feeling well lately?”

“I have nausea these days but I manage.”

“Dean, please don’t tell you are-”

“OH MY GOD!” Dean stopped in the hallway and stared at the man in the office that Bartholomew was in with a stuck up woman with a rosary in her hand.

He felt his blood go cold and stared for a bit and then the man looked at Dean. That wasn’t any man, it was Castiel. Then he saw Dean and held a hand at Bartholomew and walked out to Dean. But for Dean it was too much and he bolted to the bathroom a few doors down and heaved over the toilet. There was a knock on the door.

“Dean, its Castiel. I hope I didn’t spook you?”

“Cas its fine, its just-” Then Dean heaved again into the bowl again. He could feel sweat dripping from his face. He had plans on being a single father and now the other father had found a way to get back into his life.

“Dean, its Sam. Now we need to talk. You know my client and I need to know how.”

Everything was crashing down on him today. He ran out of his abortion, drove home and called Benny to tell him the good news, he was about to tell Sam and now Castiel had seen him. It sounded obvious that Castiel cared for Dean, I mean come on Dean is saving him from a crappy divorce settlement with the help from Sam. Dean would have to let them both in on the news now. Sam was going to be an uncle and Castiel was going to be a father.

When Dean knew he was done he flushed the toilet and got up to wash his hands and rinse his mouth out. He sighed and walked out of the bathroom to be confronted by Sam and Castiel.

“Son of a bitch!”

“Dean, what’s wrong with you?” Sam was stern in his voice. He didn’t want to fool around with Dean and the truth.

“Cas, Sam, I will tell you if we go somewhere private.”

Sam lead Castiel and Dean back to his office. He shut the door and locked it so Bartholomew couldn’t get in. The best part of Sam’s office is that he couldn’t see out of his walls, so there were no distractions.

They all sat in chairs and Dean was being eyeballed by the other two. He had no way out and the pregnancy had to be revealed.

“Sam, let me start with how I know Cas.” Dean pinched the bridge of his nose before continuing. “Cas and I were at Roadhouse and we were intoxicated from dealing with the bad break ups we both had. I had Cassie and he had Daphne. Ellen suggested that we use Ash’s room and well one thing led to another and we had sex.”

Castiel felt a little violated by what Dean just said.

“I told Cas about your law firm and how you could help him. After that I didn’t think I would see him again. Then I didn’t feel like my usual self and went and saw Benny and I had a test taken and it came up positive.”

“Positive for what?” Castiel asked frantically. He knew they had unprotected sex and was really hoping that he hadn’t given Dean an STD or HIV.

“Dean, what came back positive?” Sam was now very concerned.

Dean looked down and swallowed. He mustered all of his courage and then looked back up and into their eyes.

“Guys, I’m pregnant.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

The looks on Sam and Castiel’s faces were indescribable. Castiel was now falling apart on the inside, while Sam is just stunned that this was happening to his brother. Sam just glared at Castiel, he wanted to burn him in hell now.

“Sam, I know you are going to be a good brother right now, but I want the baby. I want a chance at being a parent. I lost Cassie and I’ve gained a child from it.”

Castiel was getting hot under the collar and was sweating. Sam could drop his case and give everything to Bartholomew to handle. However Sam was professional and always looked out for his client first.

“Did you consider your options though?” Castiel said weakly.

“Yes, and I was considering having an abortion.”

“Oh my god, Dean why-” Sam started.

“But I ran out at the last minute Sam. I couldn’t do it.”

Castiel couldn’t believe Dean almost terminated the pregnancy as well. Castiel always wanted kids and his doctor said he couldn’t have children. This was not the way he wanted it to happen but he was a little happy.

“Dean do you need me to do anything?” Castiel asked sheepishly.

Dean looked at him and said,

“Cas, I don’t want you around the baby until your divorce is finalized.”

Castiel was hurt and tried really hard not to show it, but he understood fully where Dean was coming from.

“I also want you to keep this quiet from the other lawyer and your ex-wife right now. I don’t need more drama involved in this. I’ve had too much today and I need to rest right now.”

“Castiel I need you to go back to the office. I want to have a private talk with my brother.” Sam told him.

Castiel got up and unlocked and went through the door and closed it. Sam was still trying to wrap his head around this.

“Dean, do you really want to do this? Castiel will be involved in your’s and the baby’s life forever now. You don’t really play well in a team.”

Dean sighed, “I really don’t want him involved either. But he is the one that knocked me up and now he knows and he can call the shots and take me to court too if he wanted. By the way I would hire you as my lawyer.”

Sam smirked, “Unfortunately I can’t practice law on my own family. It would be biased and would lessen the chances of you winning in front of a judge.”

Dean rolled his eyes and face palmed in frustration.

“What am I supposed to do then? Dean hissed.

“Dean, you’ve already taken the right steps. Keeping Castiel out of the picture during the divorce process is the best thing you can do till we can figure something out.” Sam placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I need to get back in there, but first I have to find a gag order and a restraining order too. I feel like he won’t respect what you are asking of him.”

“Thanks Sammy.” Dean got up to hug his brother.

“No problem. Also keep in mind that in a few months we won’t be able to hug this close so get them while you can.”

“Bitch.” Dean smirked as he let go.

“Jerk.” Sam called out as Dean left the room.

Things felt alright for now as he hurried past Castiel’s meeting. Sam wasn’t far behind him and walked inside to the angry lawyer and couple. The divorce really did look nasty and Dean was glad that he didn’t have to go through with that with Cassie. He walked out and drove off home. When he got home he walked inside to his living room and fell back into his couch. The cushions were cradling his body just right to let him release all of the tension today had brought to him. Once he got up to grab a blanket and laid on his side, sleep welcomed him like an old friend.

Dean doesn’t usually nap, but his pregnancy and the stress and events of today claimed him and he let go. He dreamed of the little boy that he had in his arms. How cute he was looking just like him. Not a single piece of Cas in him. That’s how he wanted it. No Cas, just him and his son. While he slept his hand shifted to caress his belly where the baby would be. He smiled and mumbled,

“It’s me baby, it’s daddy. I won’t let the other one take you away from me. I love you so much. It will be you and me forever now.”

 

12 Weeks Later

 

“Alright Dean, are you ready to see your baby?”

Dean was in a doctors exam room where a red head OB named Charlie Bradbury was moving the ultrasound wand across Dean’s ballooned stomach. He was excited to see the person inside of him that had made its home in his body these past few months.

“There’s your baby.” She smiled as she turned the screen to him.

Dean was in awe and had a few tears in his eyes when he saw his kid.

“That’s mine? That right there is my baby?”

“Yes Dean and it is a-”

“I don’t want to know, I want it to be a surprise.” Dean said frantically.

Charlie was a little taken a back by this. Most parents would want to know so they can pick out a name and plan everything.

“Alright then. I will write it in your file but other than that I won’t say a peep.”

Charlie took notes and then printed a picture for Dean.

“Would you also be interested in the 4D ultrasound at your next check up?”

“What is that?”

“A 4D ultrasound is a more graphic picture. You can see the baby’s facial features and expressions and see them move around.”

“Yeah I would love that.” Dean was grinning ear to ear.

“I put that in your notes. I want to see you in four weeks.”

“Thanks Doc.”

“No problem Dean.” Charlie said as she cleaned him up.

She helped him up and led him to the front office. Dean was having one baby butlooked much more along than his 20 weeks of pregnancy was. He made the appointment and waddled back out to his Impala. His belly was starting to make it harder to do much let alone drive these days. He made it back home in time for his Dr. Sexy marathon that he had DVR’d that day. Dean was enjoying his free time that he had these days.

He worked at an auto restoration shop as one of the mechanics, but since he revealed that he was pregnant they made him put him on designer desk duty and. He didn’t mind it too much but he always preferred to work with tools and his hands. At least he could inspect the work that his coworkers did when he finished the designs. He also was able to order parts for the cars that came through. That job gave him about 32 hours a week verses 40 like he was use to.

Halfway through the marathon he could feel hunger gnawing and got up from the recliner and went to make himself a chicken ranch wrap. It had become one of his cravings that he couldn’t rid of. As he waited for the oven to heat up, he felt flutters inside of him. He was expecting kicks at this point but Charlie said it was normal for movement of any kind to happen this late in the pregnancy.

The chicken had just come out of the oven and the tortillas finished warming up when he heard his cell phone ring.

“Man, daddy was looking forward to eating.” He grumbled to his baby.

Dean walked over to get his phone and saw that it was Sam that was calling.

“Sam whats up? I was just about to eat.”

“Dean, Castiel wants to see you now.”

Dean thought the room dropped several degrees cooler just now.

“The divorce has been finalized hasn’t it?” Dean could feel his high crumbling down. He wasn’t ready for this.

“I’m sorry Dean. He is now asking for your contact information. I don’t have the heart to tell him no. I know he would take you to court if I did.”

Dean placed a hand on his baby belly and took a deep breath.

“I think I can do this. I mean this is his kid too.”

“Dean I will help you out as much as I can. Let me give you his cell number so you can call him. Its...”

Dean wrote it down. “Thanks Sammy.”

“No problem. I have to go now and finish signing the last of his papers.”

The call ended and Dean went back to making his wrap. He stuffed it with lettuce and tomato and shredded cheddar cheese before laying the chicken tenders in it and pouring the ranch on it. He wrapped it up and took a bite out of it, savoring the flavors.

“I bet you enjoy that too huh?” He said to his baby.

Dean lived alone and it was nice talking to his growing baby. He didn’t feel so lonely and started to enjoy knowing that he’d have someone living with him soon. Just as he stuffed the last bite in his mouth his cell phone rang again, this time it was Castiel. When he finally swallowed the last of his food he answered the phone.

“Cas?”

“Dean, my divorce went through. I’m a man free from that bitch.”

“Sam called earlier and told me you were going to call me. I gave him permission to give you my number.”

“Oh, well I was wondering if you wanted to celebrate with me. I know a place that cooks amazing burgers and-”

“The baby doesn’t like burgers.” Dean interjected.

“Oh it doesn’t?”

“Yeah,” Dean said as he stroked his belly smiling. “But it’s ok though, I eat healthier now and I enjoy it. Do you have any other places in mind? There is this one cafe that I love called Sailor Owl. It has a beach theme to it and it has great sandwiches.”

Castiel was intrigued by this suggestion. He mostly ate greasy fast food and never really anything healthy when he went out to eat.

“Um, sure. What time?”

“I work till three tomorrow, wanna meet up at five?”

Castiel was getting excited with this.

“That sounds great. I’ll look it up or you can text me the address.”

“Sure thing. Night Cas.” And then he hung up the phone before Castiel could respond back.

Dean breathed out the tension and then went back to clean up the dishes. He went back to the couch to finish the marathon and before he knew it he had to use the bathroom.

“I hate that you do this to me baby.” He grumbled as he waddled as fast as he could to the toilet.

When he finished relieving himself he walked back to the living room and finished the marathon. Then he looked at the time.

“Son of a bitch it late.” He cussed at himself. It was 11:30 and he had work at 6:30 the next day. “Maybe I can call in late. I’m sure they would understand.”

He walked slowly up the stairs and went into his bedroom, took his shoes and clothes off, he preferred to sleep naked at night these days, and crawled into bed.

“Good night baby, daddy loves you so much.” He said as he fell into a deep sleep.

The next day he woke up late and sluggishly got ready for work. When he got there at 10am, his boss called him in.

“Oh shit!”

Dean walked into the boss’s office and had the door closed behind him. His boss was not happy.

“Dean, do you know why I called you in my office?”

Dean was sweating, “I came in late and you want to give me disciplinary action.”

His boss nodded, “Dean you are a good guy and we all love you, but this is the sixth time since you told us you’re pregnant that you were late. I’ve let this slide over and over again because I don’t want a lawsuit over discrimination. But now I’ve given you enough passes. I am suspending you from here until you’ve had three months with the baby. That is WITHOUT PAY.”

Dean felt his blood froze. This was the only supply of income that he had.

“Sir you can’t. I don’t have any other sources of income without this job.” Dean pleaded.

“I’m sorry Dean but the reality is is that I can’t rely on you right now. As much as I was willing to fire you I can’t because you are a big name in the restoration business in this part of the country and that would hurt my shop’s reputation if you went somewhere else.”

Dean was trying so hard not to scream and trash his office.

“Alright sir. I understand and accept your actions.” Dean got up and went to leave the office.

“Dean, right now would be a good time to reach out to the other father. I know you want to do this all on your own, but right now your wallet trumps your pride.”

His boss was right but he didn’t need to have that rubbed in his face. Dean left and drove off to Sam’s office. He needed his brother right now more than ever but then maybe Cas would be more interested. He need Sam’s advice first before anything. He got out and walked in. Jane was a little shocked by how big Dean was but waved hi and went back to work.

Dean made it to Sam’s office and knocked on the door.

“Dean I know its you, you can come in.”

He walked in and Sam could see the despair on Dean’s face.

“What happened? Is the baby ok?”

Dean wiped his sleeve over his eyes.

“I got suspended from work without pay. They don’t want me to come in until the baby is three months old.”

“Oh God, Dean I am so sorry.” Sam went up to hug his brother. Dean felt better getting a hug from him. Then he sat him down and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Do you want me to get involved or-”

“I want Cas involved now. But I think I’m just using him.”

Sam could see where Dean was coming from.

“Dean, I think Castiel should see you first and hear more about you and then tell him your troubles unless he asks about your work, then tell him.”

Dean could see that Sam had a point and nodded.

“Thanks Sammy. We are supposed to have dinner at 5 but I want to see him now.”

“Then tell him that. I think he would like that. He would ask questions about you when we were on breaks.”

“Really?”

“Dean, he really does care about you. You actually helped save him and he wants to show you his gratefulness to you. Give him a chance. You two may be straight but you both could be good dads to the baby.”

Dean thought about what Sam was saying and nodded. “Ok I will.”

Sam was happy hearing that, “Now go call him and ask him to meet you sooner.”

Dean hugged his brother again. “I will. Thank you.”

Then Sam showed Dean out of the building and waved bye at him. Dean pulled out his phone and dialed Cas’s number. It rang and then he answered.

“Dean, is everything ok?”

“Cas things are fine. I was actually calling to ask if you want to meet up sooner.”

“Yeah that would be great actually. I get off work in half an hour. You still want to meet at that cafe?”

“Yes Cas, that would be great. See you soon.”

Dean drove off to the cafe and waited inside for Castiel to show up. It didn’t take long but Dean was sure as hell nervous when he saw Cas walk through the door. Castiel walked up to Dean and helped out of the chair he had been sitting in.

“So?” Cas said first.

“So?” Dean replied.

“How are things? How is the baby doing?”

“I’ve been better, but baby here is pretty good. He’s been starting to move lately.”

“May I feel?”

“I’m not comfortable with that yet. It’s been me and him for quite sometime and I’m grasping the idea of you being in his life.

Castiel was offended by this. But he knew that he had to respect Dean as much as possible to gain his trust.

“Do you want to order now?” Castiel asked.

Dean looked at Castiel. His eyes were still Hawaiian sea blue and his hair and skin were still the same colour when they first met. He felt something between the two of them and it made Dean soften up a little. He was still fiercely protective of his unborn baby but this was its other father and Dean liked him when they first met. Maybe he can like him again.

“Yeah I’d like that.” Dean answered and they walked down to the counter together.

 


	5. Chapter 5

“What do you usually order here?” Asked Castiel as he looked at the menu.

“I order this sandwich called a normandy. Its roast beef thats been cooked with onions and mushrooms and topped with provolone with horseradish. I get it without the horseradish since it gives me heartburn.” Dean said as he peered over his menu.

“That sounds great.”

A perky waitress came up to their table with their waters that they ordered earlier and pulled out her notepad.

“What can I get you fellas?”

Dean looked at Castiel to let him know he would go first.

“We’ll have two normandy’s but one without the horseradish please.”

She wrote it on her notepad and took their menus away. “Alright it will be here in a jiffy.” And she skipped away.

“What’s into her?” Castiel was put off by her perkiness.

“Her name is Jackie and she loves me. She loves seeing men have kids since she usually hears stories about most them having abortions. Its nice for her to see a change of things.”

There was a little awkward silence before Castiel blurted out, “Why did you want one?”

Dean knew that that was coming at some point. He wiped his hand across his face.

“I didn’t want to be a single dad to be honest. I’m not fit to be a dad. I didn’t want the kid. I was very set on terminating and then I couldn’t.” He then looked down at his stomach and placed a hand on it, “I fell in love with the idea of being a dad in an abnormal way and I love this little guy.” He smiled down.

Castiel could sense protective behavior in Dean. The trauma of the almost abortion still haunted him.

“Were you really intent on being a single dad?”

“Yeah, yeah I was. I didn’t have any info on you and I had forgotten that I gave you Sam’s info for your divorce. Speaking of which, how did it settle out? What is the division?”

Castiel knew that that was coming.

“I got to keep my car and my belongings. The house I lost to her and currently my stuff is in storage till I can find a place of my own. I live with my brother Uriel right now and its not too pleasant.”

“You two don’t get along?”

Castiel shook his head, “We never have for a while. But Gabriel is traveling right now and Anna is about to get married. Plus I don’t think anyone would want to take me since I have committed so much sin in their eyes.”

Dean knew what he meant. He remembered that he grew up Catholic and they looked down upon homosexuals and homosexual acts as well as divorce.

“Have you told them yet about me?” Dean was a little nervous.

“No, I don’t plan on intending to either. I’ve been pretty much disowned.”

Dean could see that both of their lives were crumbling before them.

“Why does Uriel let you live with him?”

“He doesn’t really. He’s renting out the furnished basement to his house and I have to pay a monthly rent to stay there and I have to stay out of his hair too.”

Dean thought too quick about it but it made sense to him.

“You can live with me. I have a whole house to myself and I have a few empty guest rooms that I don’t use.”

Castiel’s eyes brightened up from hearing that.

“Really you would?”

Dean was happy this was moving along swimmingly.

“Of course. I mean the kid is going to be here in 20 weeks and I think that being exposed to both of its parents would be beneficial.”

“That would be fantastic.” Castiel smiled. He was close to crying he was so happy. The divorce had pretty much cost him everything apparently, just like he said when they first met.

Their food arrived and they started chowing down on it. Castiel was savoring all of the flavors of the sandwich and decided to leave a nice sized tip for Jackie.

“There is something else I need you to know Cas.” Dean started.

Castiel looked up from finishing his sandwich and was quizzical about what was said next.

“I got suspended from work without pay and I need to know if you would pick up the bills for a bit. I wouldn’t charge you rent and I have plenty saved up for the baby supplies.”

Castiel now felt bad for Dean. “No problem. I mean we will try this and its more than fair. Looks like we both have shit happening to us.”

Castiel paid the tab for the lunch and they left the cafe.

“I want you to come to my house tonight with some of your things. I want you to move in as fast as you can.” Said Dean.

Castiel felt giddy, “Things moving fast huh?”

“I feel like this is right. We need a fresh start with things and I want them to happen sooner than later.”

Dean was smothered by a vice grip hug from his soon to be roommate. “Easy there, you’re pushing the baby into me and it hurts.” He was able to squelch out.

Castiel backed away looking red in the face, “Sorry.”

Dean was catching his breath, “Its fine. I just have to show you what’s ok and whats not.”

They waved at each other and walked back to their cars. Castiel drove off in a Prius and when Dean saw his car he snickered to himself. “Of course, he seems like the kind of guy that would drive a Prius.”

Dean made it back home and tried his best to clean before Cas came over. Dean never liked cleaning, and now that the baby belly made harder to do a lot, he hated it even more. He was able to do some vacuuming and some dishes in the dishwasher but that was all he could manage.

It was 6pm when he heard the doorbell ring. He waddled over and opened it to find Castiel with a Uhaul truck behind his Prius in the driveway.

“I was able to get everything out of storage today.” He beamed.

Dean was flabbergasted but was accepting at how fast things were happening.

“I will ask Sam to help you tomorrow. Thank God it’s Friday today.”

Castiel followed Dean inside and they both sat down on the couch. Castiel would just look at Dean and his pregnant glory. It still was surreal that this was happening to him.

“Hey Dean.”

Dean look at him away from the TV screen, “Yeah Cas?”

Castiel looked down at the pregnant belly and reached out his hand a little, “May I feel?”

Dean then scooted over and took his hand and placed on a spot where there was some activity. Castiel’s face lightened up in awe and he giggled.

“He has been moving these days but it’s just the early stages right now. When he is much bigger there will be sleepless nights happening because of how he will be so active.”

“What does it feel like right now? Like inside of you?”

“Um, it can get uncomfortable and it mostly just feels weird. I only have a few more weeks of this though and then I won’t have to deal with again in my life.”

Castiel wanted to get closer to Dean. He wanted to cuddle with him. But he knew that Dean was straight and had to respect that. Just because he let Cas move into his house doesn’t mean he likes him more than that.

“Would you like to pick out a room for you to stay in?” Asked Dean.

Cas perked his head and got off the couch and helped Dean get up.

“Wow you are heavy, Oops I can’t believe I said that.” Cas groaned.

Dean chuckled, “It’s fine, my brother says that to me too. Come on I’ll show you upstairs.”

They both headed upstairs and Dean showed his new housemate the three empty rooms.

“These two are free and then the last one, the closest to my room is where the baby is going to be.”

Castiel looked inside of the two rooms. One of them had a walk in closet and enough room for him to put his furniture and his collectables.

“I like this one.”

“I thought you would, everyone wants a walk in closet.”

“Can I see the baby’s room?”

“Sure follow me.” Dean showed the room. It was a work in progress.

“Um, why hasn’t a colour been picked out? Its white in here.” Castiel came off rude to Dean.

“I don’t want to know the sex on the kid till it comes out of me. Plus I want your input on the room.”

“I’m touched that you want me to be included. Did you have a name in mind?”

“I was thinking of some but I want to him to be born before I decide.”

Castiel cocked his head, “Why do you call the baby a boy? You said you don’t want to know what it is until its born.”

“I want it to be a boy. Sam has daughters and I want a son.”

“Just because you want it your way doesn’t mean you’ll get it your way.” Castiel smirked with a toothy grin.

Castiel fell asleep on the couch that night after a dinner of a chef salad. Dean wanted to sleep upstairs but wanted to keep an eye on Cas. He stayed downstairs and slept in the recliner. Dean felt very happy to have Cas with him. He hadn’t felt this safe in a long time. They were both beaten up and broken when they met and now they are again beaten up and broken.

The next few days had gone by very quickly. Castiel had been moved in and their living habits showed. Castiel was a morning runner and owned a toy store on a strip mall between a Safeway and a Walmart. It was family based and had been in this family for three generations. Castiel was always a kid at heart and was very happy to have inherited it from his family. It seemed too perfect for Dean, this guy whom knocks him up is also kid friendly and has even designed a few toys himself that he sold in the shop and a few name brand stores. Castiel had even offered Dean a spot for the rest of his pregnancy to help with the bills. Dean appreciated the offer but had to pass. It was a little too much for what was happening.

 

Four Weeks Later

 

Dean and Castiel were waiting in the OB exam room for their upcoming appointment. Castiel was really excited to see his kid since he had been asked to sit out for so long. Charlie came in a few minutes later with a Harry Potter pin fastened to he lab coat and a file in her hand with a giddy smile on her face.

“Dean, who did you bring with you today?”

“Charlie this is Cas, the baby’s father.”

“Its nice to meet you.” She stretched her hand out and Castiel shook it.

“So what are we doing today? Check up or what?” Asked Castiel.

“Pretty much but Dean also wanted a 4D ultrasound today as well so we will be doing that too.”

“What’s a 4D ultrasound?” Castiel didn’t understand what she meant.

“Its a more in-depth picture of the baby. We will be able to see the facial features and more finer movements.”

Castiel grasped Dean’s hand anxiously. He had never seen the baby before and now a lot would be happening today. It was almost too much for him.

“Alright Dean I need you to lie down on the table and you know the drill.”

Dean scooted up and lied down on the table, rolled down his maternity jeans, pulled up his shirt and let Charlie do her poking and prodding during her exam. It wasn’t comfortable to him but he had just learned to deal with it. Then Charlie walked over to get a gel bottle and tried to squirt gel on his stomach but it turned more into a spray.

“Hm, I’m out. Let me go get another one. I’ll be back.” And Charlie closed the door behind her.

Castiel was bouncing his leg anxiously waiting for her to come back.

“Cas, why are you so nervous?” said Dean curiously.

Castiel sighed, “Its my first time seeing my kid. I’m nervous.”

“Why Cas? You should be more nervous when I’m in labor.” Joked Dean.

“Well you kept me out for so long and I missed a few milestones.” Castiel jabbed at him.

Dean rolled his eyes and began to explain, “I needed you to stay out because I didn’t want you to leak to the ex wife or the lawyer. I wouldn’t want any trying for custody or anything like that. Plus the drama in your divorce looked really crazy. When Bartholomew came screaming in Sam’s office I was scared of what could happen. I was looking out for my well being and the baby’s well being. I didn’t need extra stress in in my life and it helped that you weren’t there at the time.”

Castiel could see where he was coming from, “Dean I-”

But Charlie barged back into the room carrying a new bottle.

“Alright, here we go.” As she went on putting more gel onto Dean’s abdomen. Then she pulled out the wand and started roaming around on his sixth month large belly. It didn’t take long till Charlie found what she was looking for.

“Alright guys, theres your kid.”

Castiel looked away from Dean and stared in awe at the monitor and saw his little baby.

“That’s mine?” He gasped, pointing to the screen.

“Cas that’s our kid.” Dean corrected, “Yeah he’s great. Look at him.”

Then Charlie turned on the 4D and now the water works started.

“I wanna meet him right now.” Castiel was choking up.

“Well you have to wait another 16 weeks Castiel.” Said Charlie as she was taking pictures.

“He has my face.” Dean smiled. He was glad that what he wanted came true, more of him and less of Cas.

“Alright gents, I want to see you Dean in another four weeks. We also need to discuss a birth plan at that appointment. Sound ok?”

“Yes ma’m. I’ll bring waterworks again with me so he can see more of him.” Dean joked.

“Hey not cool.” Castiel poked at Dean’s arm.

 


	6. Chapter 6

When they got home Dean went upstairs to take a nap and left Cas to organize dinner for the night. They had agreed on veggie spring rolls and pork lo mein made from scratch since he was skilled with oriental foods. It took a while though for him to start because he stared lovingly at the 4D ultrasound pictures. His baby was in a man’s belly and not his bitch of an ex wife’s. As weird as it was, Castiel liked it. If his ex-wife would try to touch his kid and he could pass a restraining order on her. The papers that Sam had set on him were voided when the divorce went through and it was a breath of relief for him.

Castiel wanted to reveal a secret to Dean but wasn’t sure how Dean would take it. The secret was the reason why there was a divorce in the first place. Castiel had been caught looking at gay male porn by Daphne and she had accused him of seeing men and hooking up with them when she was at church. Castiel may have been looking at naked men having sex with each other but he was in no way an adulterer. He had been cheated on before by his first girlfriend back in high school and never wanted to let anyone know that kind of pain he felt.

He wanted to reveal the secret to him because after all that they have been through, he felt safe with Dean. Not only that but he had grown to love him and more really in love with him. Castiel Novak was in love with Dean Winchester. He didn’t want to fight it anymore but he didn’t want to loose his chance with his child. If Dean was an asshole he could keep Castiel at bay from him and their kid if Dean sought out to make Cas an unfit parent and ask for child support and he would claim full custody of their kid.

Fighting what he felt wasn’t easy but he decided that maybe if he was drunk it would be easier to say. While he was chopping up the vegetables and heating up the oil he planned on confessing on Valentines Day. He considered Dean’s birthday but that wasn’t fair on Dean. While the food was cooking Castiel heard footsteps stomping on the stairs coming down. Dean walked through to the kitchen and went into the fridge to pull out the water pitcher and grabbed a glass from the glass cabinet to make himself a glass of water. Dean had been craving ice cold glasses of water recently, which was weird since it was frigid in Kansas winter weather.

“Smells amazing. You really know how to cook you know that.” Dean complimented Castiel.

“Thanks Dean. I learned how to cook from my parents and my college years.” Castiel blushed.

“College years?”

Castiel went on to explain, “When I went to school, I went in to learn sociology and I had to take a class on different cultures in my second semester. One of our mid term grade projects was to make an authentic dish from a selected country. I picked China.”

“What did you make?”

“Well...” Castiel started, “I made about four different dishes before the one I was best equipped to make, and its this one I’m making right now.”

“What was the grade you got and what were the other dishes?”

“Oh this one I got an A+, everyone loved it. The others were controversial.”

Dean paused and then hesitant to ask, “You... You didn’t cook with cat or dog meat did you?”

Castiel was disgusted with the accusations, “Fuck no, I wouldn’t do that at all. No these were dishes with like snakes, turtles, bugs. Things like that nature and such.”

“Phew!” Dean sighed in relief, “Would you ever try that?”

Castiel hated the question, “I love cats, dogs not so much but I would never wish them to be part of the meat trade.”

There was a little awkward silence before the food was done cooking and then Cas made a plate for Dean.

“You really don’t need to do that Cas. I’m a big boy and I can get my plate.”

Castiel giggled and then said, “That’s what she said.”

“Hey, that’s not nice to say to the guy pregnant with your kid.” Dean blushed, "And you said you hated those jokes when we met."

They sat down to eat on the couch and watched TV. Dean had recently gotten Castiel into Dr. Sexy and that made things easier on their TV habits. The last episode finished with Dr. Sexy being caught with an ER nurse by the dean of the hospital and his job on the line, and thats when Dean called it a night. He started to hike up the stairs slowly and began to loose his balance. Fortunately Castiel saw it happening and ran up to catch him, but he caught him with a hand squeezing Dean’s juicy ass.

“You like that huh?” Dean joked before Castiel let go and placed the hand on Dean’s baby belly.

“I apologize, it was an accident.”

“That didn’t feel like an accident to me.” He turned and winked at him.

He then finished climbing the stairs and went to his bedroom and locked his door before stripping his clothes off for bed. Castiel was left embarrassed and with a boner that he had to rid of. He made his way to his room and stripped his pants and boxers off and climbed into his bed and furiously jacked himself off. The thoughts of when he and Dean first screwed were still vivd in his head. They may have been wasted but he still remembers what was said and how it sounded to Dean’s face. Castiel came a little too quickly and maybe a tad loud. He hoped that his baby’s father was a heavy sleeper. However Dean wasn’t and even jacked himself off to the sound of Castiel’s fits and pants.

Dean had something growing for Castiel too. His emotions for him had been creeping into his heart for a while since he moved in. He just brushed it off as hormones and nothing serious to him. Little did he know that Cas was all serious about him.

 

Another Four Weeks Later

 

Valentine’s Day came upon them and like two “straight” men they chose to go out. Ok well Castiel convinced Dean to go out with him even though Dean knew not a single lady would batter an eyelash at him and his expectant stomach. Castiel just wanted to get liquored up in order to confess to Dean and maybe blow some steam. This year Valentine’s Day was on a Saturday so it gave them plenty options to meet people.

“Cas I can’t believe you are making me do this.” Dean was still extremely grumpy that Castiel was getting him to go to a bar on “lovey dovey couple’s day”.

“Dean, you never go out anymore except to maybe pick up groceries once in a while. Come out with me.”

Dean rolled his eyes as he finished dressing up. He was wearing a baggy black crew neck with a long sleeve, checkered, red flannel shirt and maternity jeans. Now he was waiting on Cas. When he came out from his bedroom, he was wearing a white collar shirt with a cornflower blue tie and black suit jacket and pants.

“Damn, you look better than me.” Dean admitted.

“Lets go.” Cas nudged as they went downstairs to leave.

They had decided to return to the scene of the crime, Harvelle’s Roadhouse. As they walked in, Ellen greeted Dean with hugs.

“Hey hon, how are you doing? How’s the kid?” She said as she placed a hand on his stomach and felt a poke to her hand, “Oh little one is a kicker tonight. Must know this is where she was made.” She smiled. “Cas can drink but Dean you are taking him home tonight sober. I don’t want your hands to be within a foots reach of alcohol. You understand me?”

“Yes m’am.” Dean patted his hand on Castiel’s shoulder and motioned him to go and drink.

They went up to the bar where Castiel ordered his favorite drink, tequila, and Dean ordered some fries and a ginger ale. Dean was watching his friend’s back whom had been getting a little too friendly with the tequila bottle. It was sudden that while Cas was getting drunk, Dean had actually been grabbing attention from some ladies?

In the midst of their night out a group of women actually came up and started talking to Dean. There were two dark brunettes and a blonde.

“My friends and I saw you over there and we couldn’t help but notice you sitting all by yourself here.” Said the first brunette.

“I’m sitting here because its his night out and he needs a designated driver.” Dean pointed at Castiel.

“You two aren’t...” Started the blonde.

“Oh no we aren’t.” Dean brushed him off.

“That’s sweet of you to watch out for him.” Said the second brunette.

“Yeah it is. Can I get your names?”

“Yes, over there is Ruby, then there is Meg and I’m Lilith.” Said the blonde as she pointed everyone to him.

“Hi Lilith, You girls enjoying your night so far?” Dean smiled.

“We saw you, and even though you are on the chunkier side, we said we had to know you.” Blurted out Ruby. Clearly she was a little more intoxicated than the others.

“Oh don’t mind Ruby, she can’t hold liquor down too well.” Hushed Meg.

Dean decided to just let the girls flirt with him as there was no harm in it. But Castiel, whom had been downing a few shots and now resting his head on the counter, could hear the flirts and was growing livid. They were flirting with his man and baby’s father.

“So I am a mechanic to an auto restoration shop. I’m actually one of the biggest names in this part of the country.” Dean went on with the ladies.

“Classic cars or modern?” Said Lilith.

“I prefer classic. Its taking something old and making it new again.”

“Do you have a classic car?” Asked Meg. She was now sliding her hand up and down on Dean’s shoulder.

“I own a 67’ four door sport sedan Chevy Impala. She’s my baby and I love her to death. I’ve rebuilt her so many times, its hard to say what’s new and what’s old.”

Then Ruby started to slide a little closer and placed a hand on his chest and slid it down. She really was drunk at this point. Dean started to panic as her hand came closer to his stomach and palmed it. He was hoping to God that the kid was asleep.

“You aren’t squishy like most fat dudes.” Ruby slurred. Then she felt something move across her hand and she pulled it away fast. “Ew dude, you got something moving inside of you. You got worms or something?”

Dean’s worst fears came to reality when Castiel had had enough of the drunk girls hitting on Dean.

“Actually whore, thats a baby in there and its mine so...” He pointed at himself with a smug smirk.

“Ew you freak, get away from us.” Ruby yelled in Dean’s face, getting spittle on it.

Dean was now fuming as the girls walked away from him.

“Cas, what the Hell?”

“Take me home Dean.” He whimpered, the alcohol was now too much for him.

“Pay your tab first then we’ll go.” Dean hissed as he slid off the bar stool and walked out.

Castiel knew he had fucked up, his plan was fucked up from the start and now he was having to be held up and carried out by Jo and Ellen to Dean’s car.

“Ellen I am so sorry.” Dean apologized.

“Dean, something tells me that he’s running away from something. You both were when you met so I can see what’s going on. I think you need to talk to him.” Ellen said softly into Dean’s ear.

“I will thanks Ellen.”

“No problem hon. Get him cleaned up and sober.”

“Oh and Ash is still wondering when you’ll replace his sheets” Jo winked at him as she backed away from the car to go back inside the nice warm bar.

Dean started the car and began to drive back home. It took maybe five minutes before Castiel stirred,

“Dean pull over man!”

He did and Castiel threw the door open and fell on all fours and puked all of the tequila out of him.

“Just get it out Cas.”

“Get what out Dean? Besides the alcohol? My feelings for you?” Castiel yelled before heaving again.

Dean was shocked by what he heard. Feelings from Cas? What?

Castiel was done and then climbed back into the car. He shut the door and started to bawl his eyes out. This was making Dean very uncomfortable.

“Dean I love you. I have loved you since you showed me kindness when we first met and now I love you more that we having a kid together. I love your heart and your generosity. You are an amazing person and I hate that you are straight.” He then wiped his eyes and cried out more, “Daphne caught me looking at gay male porn and thats why she wanted the divorce. I can’t dig chicks and I don’t want to be with them because of you. I don’t want to loose you or have you take our baby away because I love you. I want whats best for you and the child and I am here, drunk and crying, telling you all this when we could have done this differently. I am so fucked up and I will always be a broken mess for the rest of my life but the baby will always feel right to me. The one thing I got right and I don’t want you to take him away from me.” He wiped his eyes and blew his nose, “There I got it all out now, HAPPY?”

All of this coming out of Cas at once was like a bomb going off inside Dean. He didn’t know what to do. His feelings for Cas weren’t as strong and even then he still didn’t know if they were real or not.

“Cas, I think we should go home now.” Dean started the car again and they drove back home.

 


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning, Castiel woke up to a pitcher of water, a glass and a bottle of aspirin. He grinned, remembering that that’s what Ellen left at the bar the morning after. He took some of the pills and drank a glass of water. His hangover was bad but doable. As he walked out of his room and down stairs he saw that Dean was no where in the house. Castiel didn’t know if this was a bad thing but decided that it was ok since all of his stuff was still here. Then he looked around and saw a note of the fridge. Castiel picked it up and read it.

“Cas, I need to think for a bit about what you said last night. I’m at Sam and Amelia’s house right now and I will keep you in the loop if I stay for a bit longer.” He read aloud and then paused before read more, “It’s not you, its me. I have some things on my end that I need to talk about with my brother. I don’t hate you one bit or think you are an unfit father. You are a good guy Cas. I just need some heart to heart with Sam.”

Castiel didn’t know if this made him feel better or worse. He skulked around the kitchen for a bit and then saw a second note on the microwave.

“Eggs and sausage with biscuits in here. My perfect remedy for a hangover. :D “

Castiel perked up now and realized that there probably wasn’t going to be anything bad happening.

Dean was at the breakfast table with Sam and Amelia and their two daughters, Tessa and April. They had been chowing down on heaps of pancakes with hash browns and sausage covered in sticky syrup for the past hour.

“Daddy, can I go and clean up?” Asked April.

Sam took one look at her and dismissed her to leave. She jumped out of her chair and was followed shortly by Tessa.

“They can be a handful but I love my daughters.” Sighed Sam as he placed a hand on top of Amelia’s. They shared a kiss which made Dean a little jealous.

“So what’s all this mess with Cas?” Amelia asked.

Dean began, “Cas is in love with me and he’s scared that I’ll kick him out of the baby’s life because he feels that way. At the same time I have feelings for him but I’m not sure if they are real or not because of hormones.”

Sam’s eyes grew wide, “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Sam really? Dean I can understand fully. When I was pregnant with April I absolutely hated this big lug, but with Tessa I was all over him and very clingy. Every pregnancy is different with symptoms and emotions. Like you said you had no nausea except for greasy food smells of course. Just your feet and ankles swollen, having to pee a lot and your eating habits changed.” Said Amelia

“I’m fine with the feelings, just not 100 percent about them.”

“You are also carrying his kid, that can do that to you too. Just please figure out before its too late. He does have the purse strings right now and can claim a lot from you.” Continued Sam.

Dean was still so conflicted about everything. “Maybe talking to Cas would be better since he is part of this.”

“I think that that would be best Dean.” Sam replied.

Dean stuck around for a bit longer before he realized Castiel would have woken up at this point.

“I need to get home to him now. Thanks for letting me visit and deff thanks for the breakfast. Baby and I loved it.” Dean smiled as he felt a kick against his palm.

“No problem honey.” Amelia hugged into her brother in law, “Come and visit anytime.”

He walked out and drove back home to find his baby daddy on the couch watching TV with the empty plate of food resting on his stomach. Castiel heard the door close and got up to see who it was. When he saw it was Dean he felt so much relief.

“I’m glad you are home, by the way you make a mean sausage and biscuit.”

Dean chuckled, “Thanks. I haven’t figured everything out but I’m getting there.”

Castiel turned off the TV, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Dean decided that now would be a good time and planted himself on the couch next to Cas. He was ringing his hands through each other nervously before he began.

“Cas, I care about you. A lot actually and I’m not sure if its me or hormones. I know you love me and I love you too but I’m not sure if I’m in love with you back. Does that make sense?”

Castiel could understand but he was more happy that Dean wasn’t mad or about to be cruel. The fact that he cared about him was an amazing feeling. He scooted closer to him and wrapped his arm around Cas.

“Hey look at me. We will get through this Cas. Ok? You and me forever.”

Castiel flashed a toothy blushing smile to Dean and then had the urge to kiss him but it was Dean who kissed him first. The sudden pressing of lips drove Castiel over the moon and made him crave even more as he began to deepen the kiss on his side. It wasn’t tongue filled or sloppy but they kissed each other tenderly and lovingly, over lapping each others lips slowly and sweetly. The tingles left on their lips as the pulled away drove them even more off the edge.

“I want more if that’s ok Dean?” Castiel said softly.

“You know what? I do too.”

Then Dean pulled Castiel up off the couch and led him slowly up the stairs into his bedroom and locked the door. Castiel locked his lips with Dean’s once again in the same gentle fashion and they leaned up the wall of the room and Cas was given control. He started by using a silky graze across Dean’s skin from his ribs to his navel. He placed his palms on the underside of the baby belly and rubbed circles into him with his thumbs. He felt hands punching into his palms and stopped what he was doing. Castiel swiftly caught Dean’s shirt and began to lift it slowly while still kissing him so tender.

“You are a naughty angel you know that.” Dean moaned as he felt the shirt sliding up his body. It was taken off and then Castiel’s fingers made their way to Dean’s maternity pants.

“Is it ok if I-?”

“Cas, just be gentle and I will let you do anything.”

He then slipped his hands into Dean’s pants and made their way to his firm ass cheeks. He squeezed them and bit before moving one down to Dean’s cock and began stroking it with a single finger. He felt pre-cum and got it on his finger tips and slid them up and down the shaft with a touch that made Dean get goosebumps.

“You have magic hands Cas.” Dean whimpered as he felt himself getting close.

“Do you want me to finish you off here or on the bed?”

“Here, I’m not going to last very long.”

Castiel slowly and achingly tugged Dean’s pants and boxers down till a very painfully hard cock sprung free, waiting to be sucked off.

“I’ve never given a blow job before so please don’t judge.”

“I’ve never had one before either so we are on the same boat Cas.”

Castiel licked his lips in Dean’s sight before getting down on his knees, it drove Dean made and he couldn’t wait for what Cas was going to do to him. Cas saw his prize and knew that it had to be handled with care and no biting, wouldn’t want what you don’t want done to you. He grazed his fingers underneath his balls and rolled them in his fingers before licking the underside of his shaft from the base to tip and flicking his tongue over the tip like a snakes. His got a bead of pre-cum straight to his tongue and then began to take him in his mouth. Dean was panting and wondering how he was lasting this long with Castiel teasing him and driving him over the edge. Castiel made his shaft down as far back as he could take him and then patted his tongue against him as he bobbed up and down. Dean was groaning and his hands made their way to his lovers head and massaged his scalp as the “virgin” worked his cock with his luxurious mouth.

“Cas I’m getting close. You wanna swallow or spit out when I come?”

Castiel didn’t respond and instead he went faster and sucked on him. It didn’t take even thirty seconds till Dean shouted out his orgasm and shot loads down Castiel’s throat. He just waited until Dean’s orgasm subsided before spitting him out and breathing hastily. They both just waited and both managed to come back down to earth before Castiel put Dean’s boxers and pants back on and got off of his knees.

“What do you want to do next?” Castiel asked shyly.

“I think we should get on my bed,” Dean pointed, “And cuddle.”

Then climbed on the bed and Castiel rested his head on Dean’s baby bump with his arm hugging it. He could feel movement hitting his face and just smiled. He was happy in this moment and he wanted to enjoy it.

“I love you Dean.”

“I know you do Cas. Please just let me get there before I say it.”

“Ok Dean.” He said blissfully.

Castiel hadn’t had a lot of good moments in his life, but right now this was one of the most at peace moments in his life and he was savoring it.

 

Six Weeks Later

 

Dean had had enough of this. He was tired of being pregnant and not being able to do much. He was tired of being pregnant and not seeing his feet. He was tired of being pregnant and always hungry. Oh yeah, he was tired of being pregnant in general.

He and Castiel were fixing the nursery up with green wallpaper that had bees and flowers in it. Castiel loved bees and since they didn’t know the sex of the baby they went with a nice mildly bright green colour and placed bees and flowers in the mix. The furniture was a nice dark maple wood and there was a crib, changing table and drawers, a chest of drawers and a toy chest the was close to over flowing with stuffed animals.

They had been taking a break and enjoying the fruits of their labour. The room was done and now they just had to go clothes shopping. Dean’s baby shower was in a few weeks and him and Castiel had been thinking of names for a while.

“What do you think of Alex? It’s a unisex name.” Asked Castiel.

“Cas I already told you that I want to meet him first before I name him.” Dean pleaded him to shut up.

“Then what do you have in mind?”

“It’s a secret and a surprise. Can’t it wait? I’m 34 weeks pregnant and I want a little break.”

“No Dean, I want to know now.” Castiel pouted.

“No can do Cas.” Dean said smugly.

Their relationship had been blooming even more now since they confessed feelings. Dean didn’t say “I love you” to Castiel though as he wanted to say it when it was right. He did love him but just couldn’t find a way to get it out. They kissed and cuddled and Cas gave Dean oral pleasures and Dean gave Cas hand jobs. They wanted sex but decided that the belly wasn’t very attractive and so sex would have to wait.

“What did you want the theme of the party to be?” Castiel asked Dean.

“I kinda wanted to stay with the bee theme we have going. I love little bumblebee in here.” Dean pointed at his stomach, “I can’t believe he’s going to be here soon.”

“Me too.” Castiel hushed as he planted a kiss into his boyfriend’s stomach. He looked at his phone’s clock and gasped, “Oh honey we forgot our LaMas class, it starts in an hour. We need to clean up for that.”

Dean didn’t like LaMas classes but he did them for Castiel. This was so important for him that he couldn’t resist making him smile.

 

Four Weeks Later

 

As the weeks started to be eaten up in anticipation, Dean couldn’t help but feel strange pulling in his lower half of his torso. He figured it was Braxton Hicks but only time would tell. His baby shower was today and the party was about to begin. They had invited all of Dean’s family and friends and Castiel invited a few friends but refused to call his family. Dean however had found Castiel’s family’s addresses and had sent them invitations but had not heard back from them.

The party started at 11am that Saturday morning in May and the guests came quickly. First Sam and Amelia, then Benny, Ellen and Jo and even Bobby and Adam his co-workers from the auto restoration shop came. On Castiel’s side he had his best friend Balthazar come as well as his co-workers Raphael and Michael from his store. There were gifts piling up on the table and food being devoured by the hungry guests. It wasn’t long till games were played. 

The first one was a diaper changing race for the guys. Amelia, Ellen and Jo stood out of this one as they were the judges. Bobby was dead last as he couldn’t even put keep safety pin in the cloth diaper. Castiel was actually in first place with a clean baby bum and a perfect diaper.

“I used to babysit Daphne’s niece’s and so I learned a few tricks.” He said smugly.

“Then you can be on diaper duty till I get the hang of it.” Dean winked at his boyfriend.

Then they played guess when the baby would be born and how much it would weigh. The earliest bid on the birthdate was 4th of May by Ellen and the latest was the 20th of May by Balthazar. The weight was seven pounds and six ounces by Adam and the heaviest was eleven pounds and fourteen ounces by Sam.

“Winchesters were always big babies.” He laughed.

“He’s right you know. April had to be delivered by c-section because she weighed ten and a half pounds.” Amelia jokingly punched her husband in the arm.

They began to enjoy cake and ice cream when Dean felt another contraction in his abdomen. It still felt like a false alarm but he timed it when he had three in a row within a forty-five minute period.

“I hope you aren’t playing with me baby.” He mumbled to his stomach while rubbing it. His bump felt harder than usual and tight. “Are you ready now? Daddy would love to meet you if are.” He smiled.

They were about to open gifts when there was a ring from the doorbell that took them by surprise.

“You didn’t invite anyone else Cas did you?” Asked Dean.

“No I didn’t.” Castiel answered.

“I’ll get it.” Yelled Sam as he made his way to the front door. He got there and opened the door to see an elderly couple, a pale red haired woman and a man with thick brown hair and hazel eyes standing on the porch.

“Can I help you?” Sam was confused.

“We are here for the Novak/Winchester baby shower. This is Anna, my mom Hester and dad Zachariah and my name is Gabriel. We are Castiel’s family.” Said Gabriel as he introduced everyone to him.

“My name is Sam, I’m Dean’s brother. Would you like to come in?”

“Yes we would.” Replied Zachariah.

Sam led them inside and took them to the living room where Dean had just opened a bath kit from Michael. Sam cleared his throat and they all looked up. Castiel was walking into the room after coming back from the bathroom and noticed everyone was quiet.

“What’s going... on... guys?” He slowed as he saw his parents and his brother and sister. “Mom? Dad? Anna? Gabriel? What are you guys doing here? I thought you disowned me?” He was shaking with anxiety.

Dean motioned Balthazar to guide Castiel to sit with him on the couch as he was hyperventilating.

“Cas, look at me.” Dean calmly said.

Castiel looked at him while he was hugging himself tight.

“I invited them here. They are your family and they didn’t respond so I didn’t think they would be coming.” Dean explained.

Castiel was still freaking out, “But I got divorced, I committed sodomy with you and got you pregnant, I am your boyfriend. They should hate me right now like Uriel does.”

“Castiel, Uriel has always had a stick shoved up his ass since we adopted him and you should know that by now.” Hester responded as she started to come closer to her son.

“Castiel we love you no matter what. I wish you had told us what was happening. I want you to be at my wedding in a few weeks. I want to meet my niece or nephew. I want you to be part of our lives again.” Anna was telling her brother.

Castiel was still breathing harshly and Dean was trying to help him calm down while another contraction welled up inside of his body. He was silently screaming as the pain level was increasing. Dean then had to start breathing to deal with the pain and Amelia could sense something wasn’t right about him.

“Dean are you ok?” She was able to kneel by him.

Dean’s eye’s were closed as he tensed up and waited the pain to be gone. He exhaled out with relief and felt Amelia place a hand on his knee.

“Dean how long have you been having contractions?” She asked him.

“Since about this morning, I thought it was false labor but I think this is it. I’m 38 weeks but it can happen this soon right?”

“I went into labor with Jo at 36 weeks, yes it can happen.” Ellen commented on the situation.

“How far apart are they honey?” Castiel was finally able to ask Dean.

“About fifteen minutes apart.” He replied, “I think we should call Charlie and let her know it’s time.”

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter you have all been waiting for is here guys :D
> 
> Thank you so much for making this one of my most popular fan fictions

Dean could take a lot of pain, but this was a whole new level. His body tightened and constricted and pressure riling inside of him like a bomb ready to go off. He was being driven by Castiel with Sam and Amelia following them in another car. They made it to the hospital about half an hour later with Dean’s contractions at ten minutes apart. He was being wheeled up to his room and prepped for delivery. Castiel was with him in the room and kept Dean as calm as possible.

“Cas... its hurts so much... make it go away please?” Dean whimpered.

Castiel held Dean’s hand through every contraction and helped keeping him breathing nice and steady.

“I know Dean. But you are too far along for an epidural now. There is nothing I can do for the pain.” Castiel hushed him.

There was silent moments between them every now and then as they waited for the birth to come nearer. They started getting closer about two hours after they arrived and Dean’s patience was waning. Castiel stayed by his side throughout everything and Dean was really happy for his support.

“Cas, I want to thank you for being here. I’m sorry that you have to see me like this.”

“Dean I would be there for you through everything. I’m sorry that you are in so much pain.”

He wanted Castiel to be closer to him and help him through this. “Do you think they will let you sit behind me? I really want you to comfort me that way.” Dean asked Cas.

Castiel was surprised that his boyfriend wanted him closer to him through labor. They waited till a nurse came in and recorded Dean’s vitals on his chart.

“Excuse me, do you think he could sit behind me? It would be helpful through this.” Dean asked the nurse.

“Normally I don’t think you can with the hospital beds, but your boyfriend here is a lean guy and Dr. Bradbury is really chill so I will say yes.” She smiled at them as she left.

Dean scooted forward as Castiel took off his shoes and carefully climbed behind him and settled down as Dean leaned back into him.

“That feels so much better honestly. It makes me feel safer.”He said to Cas and turned and gave him a peck on the lips, “I love you Cas.”

It was the first time Dean had ever said aloud to Castiel that he loved him, making him tear up with joy. “I love you too Dean.” And he wrapped his arms around Dean’s chest and slowly stroked his soon to be empty belly.

“Probably the last time I will let you do that Cas. I don’t want anymore after this.”

“You might change your mind after a few years.” Cas smiled, convinced Dean would change his mind. “But the kid would be planned this time.”

“I can’t believe this is it. We finally meet him.”

“Or her. You never found out, remember?”

“Who do you think he will look more like?” Asked Dean, “I always envisioned him to look more like me. Green eyes, my hair and freckles. I never really pictured you in him.”

“Why not?” Castiel was puzzled and hurt by this.

“Well I wanted to be a single parent. I was ready to be one. I didn’t think we were going to meet each other again. In fact I had forgot you except that we had sex with each other when I found out.”

“Did you choose to picture him like this?”

“When I was contemplating the abortion, and had to go through the waiting period, I had a dream that that is what he would look like. I didn’t remember what you looked like so I envisioned me in him.”

“What helped you to not get the abortion?” Castiel curiously asked.

Dean sighed, he was still a little traumatized that he almost did it.

“I started to think that he liked what I was eating, then I went sight seeing in Kansas City and talked to him like he was physically there, holding my hand, as I looked around in the museums. I started talking to him and when I slipped in the shower at the motel, I caught myself but with a hand protecting my stomach. And then I had a dream about him, he was pushing a scooter around in my house and we were giggling and silly with each other.” Dean began to choke up at this part, “Then the walls started to bleed and he turned into red bloody chunks and slipped through my hands. I began to beg for my son to come back and that’s when I woke up in a cold sweat that night.”

Castiel could sense that the nightmare still haunted him. “Dean you didn’t abort him. You are about to meet our baby. You need to be happy about that.” He said in Dean’s ear. He kissed into his sweat head as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“You love your son, you decided to have him even through all of the stigma that surrounds male carriers. Not every guy is like that, you became a man and a father when you said no. You should be proud of yourself for that.”

Dean rubbed him stomach as he felt another contraction grow inside of him. He was tensing up and trying his best not to cry.

“I know Cas. Thank you.”

There was knock on the door. “Its Sam, you wanted me in there, remember?”

“You can come in Sam.” Castiel called out to him.

Sam came through cautiously, he didn’t want to see Dean at the wrong time.

“You can come in Sammy. You’ve seen me through worse.” Dean breathed out as a contraction left his body.

“Yeah but I’ve never seen my brother go through labor and delivery. Only my wife and I have been through that together but you haven’t. It makes me uneasy.”

“Sam you-” Another contraction built up, “AH! OH GOD! This one sucks!”

“Dean breathe, breathe you hear me?” Castiel held onto him tight.

Then they heard a splash and looked down to see the end of the bed wet.

“Call the doctor, I think that that was my water breaking.” Dean was panting.

Sam pushed the call button and a nurse came in with Charlie following close behind her.

“Alright Dean, lets clean you up and check you.” She said as she handed the nurse a towel. Charlie put on gloves and lube and found Dean’s birth canal and, much to his discomfort, inserted her fingers to check him. It took a bit and then she pulled out and changed her gloves. “The baby is descending right now. If you want to push, you can in a few minutes. I need to get changed into my delivery clothes and then I will be back and we can get this show on the road.”

Charlie walked out to change and came back ten minutes later.

“Doc, I need to push really bad.” Dean was pleading as sweat was beading up on his face. He looked like he was suffering.

“Let me check how far the baby is.” She checked him again, “Baby’s head is close to the exit. Let’s do this.”

Dean had a thankful moment for a second and then he had to push. Castiel grabbed his hand as Dean tucked his chin in and arched forward, pushing as hard as he could, his face going red. Sam was holding one of his brother’s legs open and coaching him when he needed it.

“Dean you can do this. You are almost done you here me?” Sam was encouraging his brother.

“Cas, don’t ever knock me up AGAIN!” Dean screamed as he could feel the baby crowning. “I need to take a break Charlie, can I?” He was almost begging.

“Take a few breaths Dean. You can do this, you are almost done.” She smiled at him.

Dean’s break was about half an hour before he had the strength again.

“Don’t rush yourself Dean, this part is tricky.” Charlie said as the nurse team behind her was getting prepped to catch the baby. “Dean are you ready?”

Dean’s head was swimming with thoughts and anxiety. “This is it. I’m about to meet my kid. After almost doing away with him I will meet him. I will meet the little guy that has been living inside of me for nine months. I’m gonna be a dad now.” He said to himself mentally.

“Yeah I can feel one getting ready.” He replied to Charlie.

“Now push Dean and make it good.” She exclaimed.

Dean could feel his kid leaving his body and as odd as it felt it was relieving to him.

“Head’s out now, shoulders are next and then he will slip out.” Charlie told the nurse behind her. “One last push and you can meet him. You got this Dean, you hear me?”

Dean gave it his all with a loud scream with sweat and tears rolling down his face. Castiel could see Charlie placing her hands under Dean as began to choke up quickly. Sam gasped in astonishment and tried his hardest to still hold his brothers leg while keeping it together. Dean felt something slip out of his body and then he heard crying and looked down and saw his baby being lifted up for him to see.

“Dean, I think you owe this little one an apology for calling her a boy this entire time.” Charlie joked as she motioned Castiel to get up off the bed and cut the cord.

“I have a daughter?” Dean’s eyes were flooding like waterfalls.

“Dean she is beautiful, she has your hair just like you wanted.” Castiel said as he cut the tie between Dean and his daughter.

The girl’s shrieks were keeping the nurses busy as they took her away to be weighed and cleaned up.

“Cas, we have a girl. WE HAVE A GIRL!” Dean was overjoyed by the news of his daughter.

“Dean I am so proud of you.” Sam cried with rivers coming from his eyes.

“Where is my daughter? I need her.” Dean was begging Castiel to tell him as he came back to his side.

“She’s getting cleaned up. You will have her soon I promise.” He pet Dean’s head and gave him several kisses on his lips.

It took a few minutes of what seemed like forever for Charlie to pass Dean his daughter, wrapped in a green blanket and wearing the little yellow bee hat that they had brought with them.

“Here you go Dean. Hold her like this.”

He cradled her in his arms and her squawks soon went silent as she could sense her dad was there.

“Hey baby girl. I’ve been waiting to meet you for a long time now. Daddy loves you so much.” He said softly to her.

Her eyes were still closed as she felt safe and secure in her fathers arms. Dean held her close and inhaled her newborn smell as Castiel came close to see his daughter. He looked at her closely to see if Dean got his wish of her looking like him.

“I don’t see much in me.” He sounded disappointed.

“Give her some time Cas. We just got her.” Dean reassured him.

Then he had to pass her to him as he got ready to deliver the placenta, which went off without a hitch, and then was allowed to shower off all of the birth. Sam helped his brother get up steadily and led him to use the shower and sat outside the door in case he needed a hand.

Cas held his little girl close and protectively admiring her. He couldn’t believe that this little baby in his arms was his daughter, a part of his flesh and blood. He tried so hard to not let Dean wishes eat at him, he wanted something in his daughter to be his, but it looked like he got his wish. He was getting sad and then her eyes opened to look at her father and then Cas teared up with joy. She had his eyes, his Hawaiian seawater blue eyes and thats when he knew she was his. He held onto her closer.

“You have your father’s looks but daddy’s eyes. I love you so much sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead and she looked at him with wonder before becoming fussy from hunger.

“When is Dean getting out? She’s hungry.” Cas wanted to feed her, but Dean was insistent on only nursing her.

Sam looked in the bathroom and saw that Dean was changing into clothes, “He’s out soon.” Then he cracked the door open, “Your daughter is hungry and Cas wants to feed her formula.” He knew that that would get him out sooner.

“Like the hell he will.” Dean got out faster. When he was changed into clothes, got out and saw the smirk on Sam’s face, knowing that he was played. Then he turned his attention to his daughter, who was squirming in Castiel’s arms. He walked over slowly and sat down in the rocking chair that was provided by the hospital, and then pulled his shirt down to reveal his a breast that was waiting to feed his daughter. Castiel passed her over to him and it was instinct on both of their parts. His daughter found his nipple and clamped onto it and sucked greedily, filling her tummy with her fathers milk. Dean was in awe at his daughter and the experience he was having with her at this point. He knew that he would have to burp her soon after her fill and more memories would be made with every second of her existence. Dean changed feeding breasts and held her close to him. He couldn’t believe that she was in his arms still.

Sam was watching the love between Dean and his daughter, reminiscing on the days when his daughters were born. Those were busy days with each girl. April was born first and then two years later Tessa was born. Now his brother had his own daughter to love and he couldn’t be happier for him. He got a text from Amelia asking if she could come up and visit and replied that she could and that she would be surprised. She came to the room and gasped when she saw the baby.

“He is so precious Dean.”

Dean looked up at her and smiled and replied, “Actually, he is a she.”

Amelia put a hand over her mouth in astonishment at the surprise Sam told here there was. They sat down on the chairs that were in the room and just watched Dean and Castiel interact with their daughter.

“You said you had a name in mind for when the baby was born.” Castiel stated.

Dean looked up at him and replied, “I did.”

“What was the name going to be?” He asked.

Dean smiled and answered

“Justice, her name was going to be Justice. You wanna know why?”

“Why?” Sam and Castiel asked at the same time.

Justice had let go of her fathers nipple, looked at him and gave him her first smile. A tear crept from his eye as he answered, 

“If it wasn’t for the Kansas state legal system, she wouldn’t be here right now.” He choked up when he saw that she was happy to see her father was happy to have her in his arms. Then he brought her up to kiss her head and she took one of her hands and placed it on his face and made a noise. Dean giggled as he thought that was her attempt to laugh and tell him its ok and that she forgives him.

“I love you so much Justice. I won’t let anyone hurt you, I promise.” He whispered into her.

Castiel kissed Dean’s head, he knew that her name was important and had meaning to him. “What about the middle name?”

“You had mentioned Maria a few times for if she was a girl and I secretly liked that name. But I really wanted our baby’s name to be Justice no matter what.”

“I like Justice Maria. Is she a Novak or Winchester?” Castiel asked, “She can be a Winchester since we aren’t married.”

“I would like that a lot. It flows better too.” Dean replied.

“Justice Maria Winchester, I really like that.” Said Sam.

“I like it too.” Castiel added, “Welcome to the world little Justice. Your daddies love you so much.”

  

**Justice Maria Winchester**

**Born May 2nd 2015**

**Weight: 7lbs 12ozLength: 18 1/2 inches**

 


	9. Chapter 9

Dean and Cas stayed at the hospital during Justice’s time there and spent every moment that they could by her side. She and Dean were given clean bills of health and were discharged a few days later. However even after they left the hospital Dean was still fiercely protective. Castiel didn’t mind it but now he was starting to become a little possessive of their daughter. Dean didn’t want to put her down or leave her side or anything that would separate the two of them. He also started to develop post-partum depression too and that’s when Castiel knew he needed to act soon or he would loose both of them.

He came home from work about a week after the hospital and found Dean asleep on the couch with Justice in his arms. He was happy to see them but then he saw what looked like a bottle of sedatives on the floor. They had been getting good amounts of sleep since she slept through the nights, so why did he need the pills? Cas picked up their daughter and checked on her, she seemed ok and decided to put her to bed. It was moments like these that he was able to be with her. When Dean was out cold and couldn’t do anything with her were the only chances that he got. He realized that he needed time with her too and had been planning to get his boyfriend help or he would take her to motivate him to get help.

The next morning, Dean woke up in a panic after finding out that Justice wasn’t in his arms. He frantically ran through the house till he found her and Cas snuggling on the bed. He was stroking her cheeks and head and whispering sweet nothings at her.

“Your daddy loves you so much. But he is worried about your father. Very worried and I want him to get help.”

Then Cas heard Dean clearing his throat and looked up at him. Dean looked pissed and not in the mood for bullshit. Then Justice started getting fussy and he sprung into action.

“She’s probably hungry, I changed about thirty minutes ago.” Castiel said as Dean scooped her up as he got on the bed and took his shirt off.

Once he settled down with her, she let him clamp down on a nipple and drank from him. He felt better when he was with her now.

“Dean we need to talk.” Castiel started.

He looked at his boyfriend, “Yeah Cas?”

Castiel wasn’t sure where to start, “I think you need help. You are suffering from separation anxiety and you are becoming extremely possessive of Justice.”

Dean didn’t want to listen to him but he had a point.

“I still beat myself up and I can’t forgive myself for what I almost did. I know she probably forgives me but you don’t and can’t.”

Castiel placed a hand on his shoulder, “Dean, I forgive you. I have forgiven you since you let me in. You really do need to forgive yourself though.”

Dean began tearing up, “How do I?”

“You start by reminding yourself everyday why you didn’t and what you have now.”

“You know why I didn’t do it. I became attached to her during the wait period and I had a nightmare of the little boy falling apart in my hands.”

“Justice is here, she wasn’t terminated and instead you gave birth to her and now we have a beautiful daughter. She is in your likeness and I hope she grows up to be like you.”

Dean looked down at her and a tear fell on her face.

“I love you so much.” Then he looked up and gave Cas a kiss. “I’ll get help if you need me too.”

Castiel smiled and replied, “If that helps then please do.” He settled besides him and just watched her suckle.

“It actually feels good bizarrely enough.” Dean started, “Are you a carrier?” He asked Castiel.

“I have never been tested, but I don’t think I am.” Cas looked a little down, “You’d want me to have one of my own wouldn’t ya?”

Dean grinned, “If you wanted to have a kid inside of you for nine months then let me help you with that.” He winked.

“I love you Dean.” Castiel kissed his lips.

“I love you too Cas.”

Castiel called Sam a few days later with a plan to help out Dean.

“So what’s this plan Cas?” Asked Sam.

“Are you and your family going on a trip soon?”

“Yeah, we usually don’t invite Dean though since he works so much.”

“Dean is still on maternity leave at his job and I think it would be good for him to be away from Justice. He is having some unhealthy separation anxieties and possessiveness and it concerns me.”

Sam sighed into the phone, he knew where this was going.

“Cas, he was the same way with me when we were younger.”

“I didn’t know that.” Castiel was astonished.

“Did he tell you that our parents died? We were young when it happened.”

“He told me that they died but not when you guys were young.”

“I can see where this is going. Do you want to hear the whole story?”

“Yes Sam.”

Sam took a deep breath and exhaled before explaining.

“Our parents died in a house fire when I was six months old and he was four. I was passed to him by our father and he ran with me in his arms out of the house and saved us.”

Castiel was quiet, “Oh wow.”

“It took Dean almost years for him to leave me be. He would suffer from separation anxiety and he needed me to be with him everyday till he was seven.”

“I can’t imagine what he is going through right now.” Castiel was beginning to understand everything now.

“Him almost having the abortion was really traumatic to him. He doesn’t like others to suffer and the fact that he could have terminated his pregnancy and Justice wouldn’t be here is still replaying in his mind.”

Castiel was listening. He knew that Dean felt like this but hearing it from his brother helped out a lot.

“How did he get over it?” He asked.

“He got therapy and he had rules placed down for him. If he followed the rules then he would be praised and when he didn’t need the rules and praise anymore he was released from therapy.”

“Should I apply those to him too?”

“I should help you with that Cas. I don’t want you to come off as the jealous dad.”

“I would appreciate that Sam. Would you like to come over after work to help out?”

Sam looked at his watch, “I can’t tonight, I have a date with Amelia. How’s tomorrow at 6pm?”

“I can work with that. I’d just have to leave work earlier tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah you own that toy shop. Speaking of which, how is that these days?”

“Sales are a little slow since summer started but pool and beach toys are selling fast these days.”

“That’s great to hear Cas. I’ll come by sometime with Amelia and the girls.”

“Talk to you later Sam.”

“You too Cas.”

Castiel now knew the story and began to kick himself for being such an asshole to Dean. He made mental note to apologize for what he said to him.

A month had gone past since Justice was born and things were the usual possessive and protective with Dean and Castiel didn’t bug him more about it after that one talk. He decided to discuss it again when his maternity leave would be up soon and soon would be at the two month mark. Dean was getting a little better before then which was letting Castiel breathe relief now.

“Hey Cas?” Dean muttered after feeding Justice.

Castiel perked his head from the couch.

“Yes Dean?”

Dean sighed, looking at his daughter, “I’m going to put her to bed now. Is that ok?”

Castiel was screaming for joy inside, “Yeah that’s fine.”

Dean left with her and took her up the stairs to her room. Her room had ultrasound pictures on the wall and her first picture as a newborn on a side table next to her crib. Justice’s crib had stuffed bee in it that she had been caught holding onto every now and then.

Dean lifted her head to his lips and gave her a soft kiss.

“I don’t think you really know how much I love you my sweet baby girl.”

He then cradled her into her crib and turned on the bee mobile. Castiel had gotten it special made so it would play “Hey Jude” by The Beatles, which was a song Dean was sung to when he was little. He looked at her one last time and then slowly walked to the door and closed it.

Dean walked to their bedroom and found Castiel sitting on the edge. He saw Dean and motioned him to come over. Dean sat down next to his boyfriend and slumped his head onto Castiel’s shoulder, tears coming down his face as he cried.

“I’m not ready to leave her yet. I know I still have time but I’m not ready.”

Castiel wrapped his arm around Dean and pulled him in closer.

“I know honey, I know. I’m glad that you know that.”

Castiel kissed his boyfriend’s head and stroked his body.

“I love her Cas.”

“I know you Dean. Its one of the reasons why I love you.”

Dean turned to kiss him on the lips, “I love you too.”

Dean planted a kiss on his lips and then lingered for a bit before Castiel deepened the kiss. Dean fed his fingers through Castiel’s hair and hoisted himself up to meet Castiel’s eyes. They rubbed their noses and went back to kissing. Dean slipped a little tongue action here and there before Castiel started to unbutton Dean’s jeans and pulled his zipper down. He could feel the excitement in Dean’s loins that were begging for pleasure. They continued to kiss passionately as Castiel crept his hand down Dean’s jeans. He was closer to touching Dean’s member but his hand was caught and they stopped kissing.

“Do you have a condom this time?” Dean asked blushing, “I don’t want to have another kid so soon.”

Castiel smiled and nodded yes and gripped him gently, making slow strokes up and down. Dean had to muffle himself as the sensations from Castiel’s touch were like electric shocks of pleasure. Dean then shrugged off Castiel’s shirt and took off his own so both could be shirtless.

“Get hot and heavy with me.” Dean moaned seductively into Castiel’s ear as he fell down on the bed.

Castiel stripped his and Dean’s pants off and he straddled him, feeling Dean poke him.

He licked up Dean’s body and even flicked his tongue at his swollen nipples.

“That actually hurts Cas.”

Castiel was hurt but then he went on to suck of Dean’s neck, leaving a large hickey next to his collarbone. He leaned back up and gave a seductive stare at his boyfriend.

“Would you want to be top this time?” Castiel asked.

Dean looked at him with excitement, “Yeah, I wanna try. I haven’t been top since my ex.”

Dean fished out a bottle of lube and a condom from the bedside table drawer while Castiel took off both of their boxers. He had gotten a little lube from another packet and began to finger himself while Dean put the condom on and slicked his aching cock to be ready for Cas.

“Ok, I think I’m ready.” Castiel panted and he saw Dean more than ready. He positioned himself to line up with Dean and pushed himself down onto him. It felt very awkward and uncomfortable but soon he felt his prostate brushed up and then he felt happy. Once he started hitting it right then he began to moan quietly.

“Dean this feels amazing. I wanna bottom more now, Ngh!”

Dean had lubed up his hand and started pumping it on Castiel’s neglected cock. His tightness around Dean was probably better than when he lost it to Cassie. Castiel could feel that he wasn’t going to last long soon but not before Dean covered his mouth as he let out his orgasm moan and could feel himself filling up the condom with spurts. Castiel was about five seconds after Dean finished and coated him and his lover with his spunk. They were both panting and sweating from such a physical act of love.

“I love you Cas.” Dean swallowed as he leaned up with Castiel still on him.

Castiel leaned down to kiss him and replied, “I love you too Dean.”

They freed themselves from entanglement as Castiel wanted to shower now and as Dean stripped the condom off he noticed that white stuff was coming out of the tip.

“Oh fuck!” He whispered to himself.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not Sorry

This was the third time today that Castiel found himself clinging to the toilet bowl at work. He was glad that he worked upstairs in the office these days so he had a private bathroom to himself. He was also fortunate that he seemed to only be sick at work. This nausea had been haunting him for a week and now he was fearing the worst.He went on his break and bought a pregnancy test from the Walmart next door and snuck it back into his store. As he waited for the results, he knew that he and Dean couldn’t have another baby right now. Dean was just about to go back to work and the store had cut a few employees so money was now tight and so was child care. The horror he would have to face when he told him what was happening. Five minutes passed and a pink plus sign was on the test stick. Shock swept throughout his body and he burst into tears.

“This can’t be happening. Why me?” He choked up, trying to be quiet so customers downstairs didn’t hear. “I’ve been good most of my life, God why are you doing this to me?”

He realized that he couldn’t finish these papers for the day and told everyone that he was clocking out and leaving for the day. As he drove home he still couldn’t believe this was Dean about a year ago. Dean however had his mind on terminating before keeping Justice. Castiel wanted to keep their kid but knew he couldn’t support it and Dean and Justice all at once. He didn’t want to think about it but he had to tell Dean his plan.

Dean was burping Justice as Castiel came home in a sweaty, crying mess. He looked up and saw him and laid Justice down on her mat and got to him and hugged him.

“Is everything alright? You didn’t loose the store did you?” Dean asked nervously.

Castiel sniffed and spoke, “No its much worse. I want Justice to not be here when I tell you though.”

Dean cupped his hands around Castiel’s face, “Ok hun. Let me put her away.” He kissed his forehead and went back to scoop up their daughter and put her to bed. He came back down and saw that his boyfriend was on the couch bawling his eyes out. He sat down next to him and pulled him closer and comforted him.

“Cas, whatever it is we will get through together.”

“Dean,” He looked up at him, wiping his eyes, “I’m pregnant.”

Dean had a feeling this is what it could be about. They hadn’t had any sexual intercourse since then so it was pretty obvious.

“You do what you want to do. I made my choice and now you can too.”

“That’s the problem, I was raised in a household where life is sacred and should be cherished but...”

“But what Cas? You can say it.”

Castiel swallowed, “I want an abortion.”

Dean held him closer as Castiel sobbed more into him.

“Hey listen, I know where you are coming from. We can just keep it between us ok. We can go to the clinic I went to and take care of it.”

“I’m happy you’re supportive of this. My family would really disown me for this.”

“I love you no matter what Cas. Your body, your choice. We will still have to go through the Kansas Law though. I will help you throughout all of this, ok?”

“Ok Dean,” He kissed his lips, “I love you too.”

 

The Next Morning

 

“I feel horrible Dean.” Castiel groaned as he heaved again into the toilet.

“Just think, this will be over soon.” Dean rubbed his back, soothing him with a cold washcloth.

“Hand me a cup of water please?”

Dean got him the water and he rinsed out his mouth of the bile. “I just made the call. They want you to come in at four o’clock this afternoon.”

Castiel blew out relief with a hiss and slowly got off the floor of the bathroom with Dean holding him.

“I will pack us a bag just in case, but I think they will give you a medical abortion instead of surgical based on how far along you are.”

Castiel told his employees and his assistant manager that he would be away for a few days on “vacation”. Dean decided to ask Castiel’s parents to take care of their granddaughter. He waited on the phone for a bit before Hester pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Mrs. Novak. Its Dean.”

“Oh hey Dean. How’s my granddaughter doing?”

“She’s a wonderful baby. I have a favor to ask of you and Mr. Novak.”

“Dean, you know you can call us mom and dad.”

“I’d rather mister and misses or at least your first names.”

“You can call me Hester.”

“Thanks. Anyway that favor to ask-”

“Do you need us to watch her for a few days?”

“Uh yeah actually. How did you know?” Dean was curious.

“We follow emails from Castiel when he posts important notices at the store.”

Dean’s face lost the colour in it and his blood ran cold.

“We will be away for a few days out of state for something with my family and we can’t watch her over there. It would be amazing if you could watch her.”

“Dean we would love too. When did you want to bring her by?”

“We need to leave by two o’clock so one would be fantastic.”

“No problem. We can’t wait for her to be with us.”

“Thanks Hester. See you soon.”

“No problem Dean, bye bye.”

They dropped off Justice at the Novak’s and then hightailed to Kansas City to the clinic. They took Castiel’s prius as Dean didn’t want to drive his “baby” back to that clinic and possibly get recognized by protestors. When they drove into the clinic, Dean saw the protestors,

“Cas, please shield your eyes.”

Castiel did so and Dean drove the car through the protestors towards the parking lot. Once they got passed them and at a spot behind the clinic, Dean turned off the car.

“You can open your eyes again.”

Castiel lifted the hand from his face with moisture glistening on his palm. Dean looked to see his boyfriend’s eyes red and puffy.

“I can’t do this Dean.” Castiel sobbed.

“Yes you can Cas. You wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“You have a support system with you. I didn’t have anyone with me when I did this. But you have me and thats what matters. Your decision and your support system.”

Castiel wiped his eyes and was given an awkward hug from Dean.

“We can do this. But if you want, we can back out right now and go home.”

Castiel really considered it but it was still in his mind that he was doing this for his family and the situation they were in now.

“Cas, I want you to hold my hand and grip it tight. I don’t want you to look at those sons of bitches out there. They don’t know you or your story and we can’t let them get to us. Do you get it?”

Castiel nodded and then they got out of the car. Dean fed his fingers through Castiel’s fingers and they walked towards the front. Dean was once again greeted by the vulgar signs and angry shouts and did his best to keep Castiel calm. Once they got inside and checked in, they sat in chairs in the waiting room. Dean always held Castiel’s hand and never letting it go. Cas was wondering if Dean wasn’t doing good on his end as well for flashbacks of his almost abortion.

“Dean are you ok?” Castiel said into his ear.

“I’m fine. Its you I’m worried about.” Dean almost snapped.

They waited for a bit before Castiel was called back.

“Can my boyfriend come back with me?” Castiel asked the nurse.

“Sure.” She smiled.

Dean started walking up to him and they were taken back to a doctor’s office. To Dean’s surprise they were being taken to Dr. Talbot’s office. They sat down and she looked at Dean in shock.

“You’re not-?” She began to ask.

“No, its my boyfriend Castiel. I had my daughter and she is a healthy happy baby thanks for asking.” Dean was a bit of a grouch.

“Glad to hear,” She fake smiled, “Castiel what can I do for you?”

Castiel swallowed before replying, “I need an abortion.”

Bela was calm, “Have you talked with Dean?”

“Yes, we live together and care for Justice our daughter. But Dean is about to back to work and my store is running things a little bit tight right now financially.”

Bela was listening to Castiel as he explained.

“You sound a little unsure. Are you sure you want to go through with this?” She asked.

Castiel started to tear up, “I’m not sure. I was raised in a Catholic household and we were taught all life is sacred. If I knew how far along I was maybe it would set my mind at ease.”

Bela knew she could solve that. “I can get you an ultrasound right now if you would like. You already have to submit to one in general but it would put your mind at ease and I would be happy to help that.”

Castiel felt much better. “Yes I would love that.”

They all left the room and walked into a room where an ultrasound machine was ready.

“I need you to lie down on the table, unbutton your jeans and pull your shirt up.” She instructed Castiel to do.

He did as he was told and she went to get a bottle of gel and squirted it on his belly. Then she started the machine and moved the wand around, looking for the fetus.

“Castiel I found it.” Bela moved the screen and showed Dean and Castiel. “Looks like five weeks. The heartbeat comes around this time or six weeks but I don’t see one.”

Castiel’s mind was at ease now. “Yes I will do it. Can you prescribe me the pill?”

“You will still have to wait 24 hours before I give you the pill. Are you still willing to go through with this?” Bela asked.

“Yes, I would be mortified if I stopped a heartbeat. But since there isn’t one yet I feel better.”

“Alright, come back by 10am on friday.”

Bela gave them their notice and Castiel and Dean went on their way. They walked back to the car with their heads held up high. Castiel really felt better about what he was doing. Once they got back into the car, Dean huffed and then asked,

“Why are you so chipper now? Last time I saw you were in bits and pieces.”

Castiel’s lips cracked a smile, “I don’t believe in abortion after a heartbeat starts. My parents still think that life begins at conception but I always saw that life starts when a heartbeat begins. I could have miscarried for all I know but there is no heartbeat detected so I feel confident now.”

Dean felt better and more confident in his boyfriend’s decision.

“We have a day now. What do you want to do?” Dean asked curiously.

Castiel planted a sweet kiss on Dean’s lips, “I think I’d like to rest for now.”

They left the parking lot and drove to the same motel that Dean stayed in. Castiel wanted to sleep, he’d lost a lot of sleep these past few days and now his mind was at ease.

“Can you cuddle with me?” Castiel asked. He was rather sleepy.

“Anything for you.” Dean kissed him and they got under the covers of the bed and spooned. Castiel fell asleep pretty quickly but Dean was tired too and so they slept peacefully.

The next day they went to the movies and did a little shopping for Justice, she needed new clothes soon as she was two months old and was close to growing out of the 1-3 month old sized clothing. They enjoyed their dinner as best as they could since Castiel still had nausea. Sleeping was easy and they morning of was easier on them than it was on Dean about a year ago. They checked out of the motel and headed back to the clinic and had one last meeting with Bela.

“I’m about to give you your pill. The law will try to get me to change your mind but I can sense your confidence.” She went over to the pharmacy at the clinic, “This is your pill,” She held a prescription bottle with a single pill in it, “Follow the directions in this guide and your pregnancy will be terminated.” She handed the bottle and pamphlet to them. 

Castiel took it, “Thank you Dr. Talbot.”

She smiled, “And please, I don’t want to see either of you in here again. Capice?”

Castiel and Dean nodded as they got up and signed out of the office.

The drive home was quiet but more so they wanted to get home and pick up Justice from the Novak’s. Dean dropped off Castiel at their house and then went off to go and pick up Justice.

“How was she?” Dean asked Hester as she handed over his daughter.

“She was an angel. Such a good baby. Always quiet and has a good schedule.” She cooed at her.

“Yeah she usually is.” He smiled down at her. She made a noise and then Dean kissed her forehead. “Well thank you for babysitting her. We should all meet up sometime.”

“No problem Dean. Bye bye baby Justice.” Hester waved at her.

Dean walked back to the car and put her in her car seat and buckled her in. Then Dean got back into his Impala and drove back home. He got his daughter out of the car seat and carried her inside to her bedroom. She was getting fussy and Dean could tell she was hungry. He sat down in the rocking chair and unbuttoned his shirt to let her feed. She clamped down and suckled as Castiel came into the room.

“Does it hurt after all this time?” He asked Dean.

“My nipples chafe but it feels good honestly. I love it cause it helps me feel closer to her.”

“She has you wrapped around her finger, I think its cute.” He smiled.

“Cas, she had me wrapped around her finger before she was born.” He smirked before looking down at her.

When she had her fill and let go, he burped her and set her to bed. Then he buttoned his shirt back up and left to go with Castiel into their bedroom. They sat down on the bed and Cas had the pill bottle in his hand. He opened it and popped it into his hand. He looked at it with curiosity, wondering if it really would work. Dean came back from the bathroom with a glass of water and handed it to him. Castiel looked at Dean and back at the pill and back at him.

“We are both together in this?”

“Cas, I will always support what you want to do. If you want to back out you can. But I want you to remember that I still love you no matter what.”

Then Dean sat down on the bed beside Cas and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“We are together in this.”

Cas looked at Dean, “Together?”

Dean kissed him, “Together.”

“Together.” Castiel mumbled and then popped the pill in his mouth and drank the glass of water.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the reality guys. You may not agree with it but this was Castiel's choice. I made it easier on him and if that helps you sleep at night then so be it. There are maybe three more chapters left and then this will be finished.


	11. Chapter 11

The next few days were torturous for Castiel. The cramps and heavy bleeding, which he knew would happen, were unbearable. Heat pads and ibuprofen weren’t helping as much as he wished they would and he was getting tired of it. Dean was beside him all throughout this time and he felt incredibly grateful for it. It took two weeks for Castiel to 100% feel like himself and return to work. He loved helping out with caring for his daughter while Dean busied himself with prepping for going back to work.

When the day came, Dean was not mentally prepared for it. As much as he had thought about it, it was still unreal. Castiel and Dean had applied for day-cares but when they couldn’t get a slot, they settled on Castiel’s mom taking care of her. Their plan was that Dean would go to work and then Castiel would drop off Justice at his parents before going to work.

Dean’s cellphone alarm went off at 6am and he got up very groggy.

“Today’s the day.” He muttered to himself as he sat up out of bed.

Dean slugged over to the bathroom to shower and afterwards got into his work clothes and put on a brave face. He tiptoed to Justice’s room and scooped her up gently. She lay still as he cradled her in his arms and brought her head up to his lips.

“I love you my baby girl. Daddy is going to miss you so much today.” He kissed her head and let a tear drop fall on her face. She began to stir,

“Shhhh, Justice its daddy. He just wanted to say good-bye, its his first day back at work and he will miss you so much.”

Justice settled down again and went back into her deep sleep as he placed her back into the crib.

“Have a good day Justice. I will miss you at work.”

The walked out of her room and wrote a note down for Castiel.

**Said good morning to Justice. I lost track of time and need to be extra early this morning. Love you Cas :* :) XO**

Dean walked to his car and drove off to go back to work for the first time in six months.

Castiel woke up to the growl of the Impala and looked at the time. He realized that he would have to start waking up earlier for his daughter to be dropped off at his parents, not that he minded. He got up and went to check on Justice when he heard her cries. He could smell why she was crying and quickly changed her diaper.

“Justice, I think you need a bath you are so dirty.” He sighed as he scooped her up and started a bath for her. 

When the water was the right temperature and depth he placed her kids tub in it and put her down in it. He washed her hair and body gently as she squealed and giggled. Taking baths was something she loved and always would make her happy.

“Alright bumblebee you are clean.” Castiel said to her as he scooped water on her hair, trying not to get it in her eyes. He found a fluffy towel and placed her in it and rubbed her dry.

“You like that now don’t you?” He giggled as she giggled while trying to smack his face with her hand, “Justice, we don’t hit remember?” He said sternly and she stopped.

That was something that Castiel could do with her and Dean couldn’t. Every time Dean would try to scold her she would break into tears and sobbing fits but Castiel could say something once and she would stop and listen.

“You voice probably hypnotizes her” Dean joked with him every now and then.

Castiel got fresh clothes on her and then put her back in her crib while he went to clean himself up. He showered and shaved and got into his work clothes and then got Justice again and took her downstairs and got his food and her bottles ready for the day. Dean had started pumping for when he was at work so Justice would never be fed formula like he promised her.

**“On my way now with Justice. Can’t wait for you to spend time with her ~ Cas”**

Castiel sent the text to his mom and he placed his daughter in her car seat and got her into his Prius and they drove off to her house.

He got there and Hester was waiting at the front door eager to spend the day with her grandchild.

“How is she this morning?” Hester kissed Justice’s head and Castiel handed her over to his mom with the diaper bag full of breast milk bottles and a pump.

“Justice is an easy baby. There is nothing to worry about with her. Please don’t hesitate to call me or Dean if you have any problems. The only thing I will warn you about is that Dean is very adamant about feeding her breast milk only, so if you run out please call Dean if she is hungry and he will happily feed her at work and pump some there too.”

Hester smiled and picked up Justice’s hand and made it wave at her dad.

“Your daddy has to go to work now. Say bye bye daddy.” She laughed as Justice cooed and smiled at her dad as he was leaving the front porch.

He drove to go to work and got there on time. He parked the car and sent Dean a text.

**“Justice is with my mom now. I told her about feeding her only breast milk and that if she needs more to just call you and take her to you to feed her ~ Cas”**

****Dean got the message while ordering some parts for a car and he smiled that Castiel was respecting his request.

**“Thanks Cas. I love you :D <3 :* **

****Castiel saw the text as he unlocked the shop’s doors and his cheeks went pink. It still made him all warm and fuzzy that Dean told him that he loved him. Dean could have kept Cas out of his daughter’s life for all he knows if they hadn’t found each other again.

Castiel’s employees came in pretty soon after he started turning on the lights and the machines. Raphael walked in first and then Michael, followed by a two female cashiers and a stock boy. Castiel went to the post box at the back of the building and collected the mail and saw that a shipment of toys were coming in. He walked back inside and called the stock boy, Alfie, and Michael to go to the back and start unloading and getting to work. Castiel had to work on more bills, finances, and the schedule for the next week. Other than that work was really plain and he wondered how Dean was doing.

Dean was back fixing cars again.

“God damn my hands are cramping.” He complained quietly to himself while he was working with a wrench.

While the manual labor itself was distracting from Justice, Dean actually missed not working as he was fixing his third car ever so slowly. He missed his old position when he was pregnant and kinda wanted it back. It was easier on him and he could bring Justice with him if his boss would have let him.

“Just one day at a time Dean.” He muttered to himself as he finished replacing breaks on an antique Model-T.

The rest of the day was uneventful for him and when the shop closed he made a mad dash home to clean up and get ready for when his daughter and boyfriend showed up home.

Castiel came home with a sleepy Justice about an hour later. Dean came down and greeted them with a kiss and Justice passed to him.

“How was she? Did Hester tell you anything?” Dean asked.

“Mom said she was a good baby and nothing bad happened.” Castiel smiled at her in Dean’s arms.

“We got lucky with our first didn’t we.” Dean chuckled.

They walked upstairs and put Justice to bed and then crashed into their bed.

“Can you hold me Dean?” Castiel whispered into his boyfriend’s ear.

Dean shifted and let Castiel rest into Dean’s body.

“I love you Dean.”

“I love you too Cas.” Dean breathed out.

Castiel could sense something was on Dean’s mind.

“What’s wrong Dean?” Castiel turned to look at him.

“I don’t know, I kinda liked the job I had when I was pregnant and I didn’t do much. I want it back I guess.”

“Dean, you work best with your hands. I’ve seen you do that. Plus you just want Justice to come to work with you. Honey, its not going to happen and you need to understand that.” Castiel had some stern in his tone.

“You’re right Cas. It just takes time.” Dean sighed in submission, but that wasn’t all on his mind.

The next few weeks went off without problems at work or home or with family. Things were stable and it finally dawned on Dean that now would probably be a good time. He called Ellen at Roadhouse a few days later.

“Hey Ellen, its Dean.”

“Dean, how are you doing?”

“Pretty great Ellen. I have a favor to ask.”

Ellen was intrigued, “What can I do for you honey?”

“I need the place closed to the public for one night. I want to uh...”

“Dean, If I know where this is going and yes I will close the place for you. Do you even want me to take care of Justice for you as well?”

“Yeah that would be great actually.”

“Dean, I’m so happy for you. And to think it all started at Roadhouse.” Ellen started to choke up, “What did you guys want for food?”

“Not burgers but something a little more uppity.”

“Let me look through my old cookbooks and find something for you two.”

“Thanks Ellen. I’ll talk to you later.”

“I’ll speak with you soon.”

They hung up and now Dean felt that he could breath a little better now.

 

Later that day...

 

“Dean, I’m home.” Castiel called out as he came home from work with Justice in his arms.

Dean walked up to him and gave him a peck on the lips as he took their sleeping daughter out of his arms.

“I have something I want to ask you, but first let me put bumblebee away.”

Castiel went over and slumped on the couch and flipped on the TV. He wanted to watch the newest episode of Ghostfacers from the SYFY channel. The episode was almost over when Dean walked back into the room. The creek on the stairs brought Cas’s attention to him.

“She was hard to put to bed this time.” Dean went over to the couch and sat beside his boyfriend as he scooted aside.

Castiel wrapped an arm around Dean’s shoulder and pulled him in closer and let his head fall on his chest.

“I love you Cas.”

“I love you too Dean.” He kissed the top of his head, “What did you want to ask?”

Dean tried to look up at his boyfriend, “I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a date night to Roadhouse soon.”

“Like now?” Castiel exclaimed.

“No like in a week, like next Thursday?”

Castiel was intrigued by why Thursday, “Ok sure. Who’s taking care of Justice?”

“Ellen is taking care of her.”

“That’s good.”

Dean looked at the screen of the TV in disgust, “Really Ghostfacers? You know they are fake?”

Castiel rolled his eyes, “You say everything paranormal is fake.”

“No I do not.”

“Give me three examples.” Castiel was almost glaring for an answer.

“Um, that one show with the three guys on Discovery Channel and its just them. That’s not fake.”

“Ok you can stop cause thats actually one of my fave shows.”

Phew! Dean thought to himself.

They went to bed an hour later without dinner and just snuggled in each others arms.

“I still can’t believe after everything you are still mine.” Dean thought to himself as he kissed the back of Castiel’s head.

Thursday came upon them quickly and they got off work early to clean up for their date night. Castiel was dressed in a white button down and black slacks while Dean wore red flannel and jeans.

“You didn’t have to dress up like that.” Dean commented.

“I like dressing up. Its you that is too underdressed.” Castiel gave him a sly look.

“I’ll get even more underdressed after tonight, I promise.” Dean slapped his boyfriend’s ass as he walked out of the bedroom to collect their daughter for the car seat.

They drove to Roadhouse and when they got there the place looked almost unrecognizable. There was but a sole table and chairs in the center and the jukebox was playing slow classic rock. There was low mood lighting and the smell of clean in the air.

“Ellen?” Dean called out. She ran out a few seconds later.

“Dean, Castiel, It’s so nice for you to be here. I hope you like what I did with the place for tonight.”

“Ellen I love it.” Her godson smiled as he hugged her. Then he handed Justice over to her. “She is a well behaved baby, I don’t think you will have any problems.” He then handed over the diaper bag, “There is plenty of milk in the bottles for her since I plan on having a beer or two tonight.” He winked at Ellen.

“Behave Dean. There are menus on the table, Jo will be out in a bit with drinks.”

Then she got Justice and shook her arm to wave at her dads, “Your father is doing something big tonight. We need to leave them alone for now.” She muttered in her ear as they slipped in the back.

The two men looked at each other and moved to sit in the chairs provided. Dean placed his hand on Castiel’s and stroked it with his thumb.

“Its been a while since we’ve been here.” Said Dean.

“Yeah, we met over there,” Castiel pointed to the bar across the room, “Both broken hearted and drowning our sorrows...”

“Then Ellen told us to sleep in Ash’s room and then that’s how Justice was made, funny enough.” Dean continued.

“Yeah, I can’t believe all we have been through in a little over a year.”

“Yeah, but out of all of it, I’m glad it ended up giving me the two most important people in my life.” Dean leaned over and gave Castiel a tender peck on the lips.

“I love you Dean.” Castiel smiled.

They looked at their menus and Jo came out and gave each of them a glass of water and a beer.

“Decided guys?” She said with perkiness.

“I’ll have the steak, rare. And you Cas?”

“I want the shrimp dish with the crab legs.”

“Nice choices. Be with them soon.” Jo took their menus and skipped to the kitchen.

They got their food rather quickly and savored their dishes. Dean was still trying to decide when would be the best time to pop the question. They finished and Dean excused himself to use the bathroom. He snuck to the kitchen on his way back.

“Jo!” He called out.

“Yeah Dean?”

“You have any dessert?”

“We have a pie and a cobbler.”

“What kind?”

Jo rummaged through the desserts, “Cherry pie and apple cobbler.”

“I’ll take a slice of cherry.” Dean knew how to propose now.

The slice was handed to him and he brought it out and placed it in front of Castiel.

“What’s this?”

“Well,” Dean knew this was going to be extra cheesy, “You are my cherry pie.”

“I’m a cool drink of water and a sweet surprise.” Castiel knew where this was going.

“You taste so good, you make a grown gal cry-” Dean started to sing along.

“Cause I’m your sweet cherry pie, yeah” Castiel was laughing at the cheesiness this was.

What he didn’t know was that Dean had stuck the ring inside the pie slice and was hoping that Cas would get it and not swallow it. Cas took a few bites and the heard the “Klink” of the metal against metal.

“What’s in the pie?” Cas began to dig around and then he saw it and gasped. He pulled it out of the filling and cleaned it with a wet napkin. “Are you-?”

Dean got down on one knee beside his boyfriend and held the ring and his hand.

“Castiel Novak...”

“Yes Dean?” He was choking up.

“Would you do the honor of becoming my husband?”

Castiel kissed his lover’s lips, “Yes, yes Dean Winchester.”

Dean slipped the ring on his fiance’s finger and they got up and kissed each other tenderly.

“I love you so much Cas.” He kissed him again.

“I love you too Dean.” And they kissed and danced to the music playing throughout the night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of the story. The next part will be an epilogue and then thank you notes.


	12. Epilogue

Castiel and Dean got married on New Years Day 2016 with a small party of family and friends. It was a pleasant and simple ceremony and reception but it was enough. They were just happy to be married now.

A few months later they celebrated Justice’s first birthday and threw a party for her and couldn’t help but keep falling in love with her everyday as she grew up and went through the milestones of childhood.

 

Fast forward to age seventeen.

 

“Father, I don’t feel too good.” Justice called out before running to the bathroom to heave into the toilet bowl.

Dean ran over and comforted his daughter through her vulnerable state. Dean at this point was glad that she was the only person beside Cas to take care of. Dean and Castiel tried for many years for more kids but when Dean found out that he couldn’t carry children anymore and Castiel had his womb removed when he had an ectopic pregnancy, they decided that Justice was all they really needed in their family.

“Did you eat something off?” Dean asked.

After hacking up leftover vomit, Justice fell back to the wall of the bathroom, “No father I didn’t. I haven’t been feeling the greatest for a few days and I guess this was going to happen.”

“Want me to call Cas and ask for ginger ale and crackers?” Dean joked.

“Father, I’m not pregnant. I don’t even have a boyfriend, remember I don’t like boys.” She winked at him. Justice did prefer girls over guys and even rocked a short haircut thanks to Dean’s face in her.

“Ok sweetie. But I’m going to keep an eye on you for a few days ok?”

“Yes father. I love you.”

Dean kissed her forehead, “I love you too.”

She remained in the bathroom and washed out her mouth and brushed her teeth before hearing her other dad come home.

“Dean, Justice, I’m home.” Castiel called out in the front room.

Justice ran down the stairs, only to trip and tumble down the rest of the steps to her dad’s feet.

“JUSTICE!” Castiel screamed as he quickly caught his daughter before she hit the floor. She had a bruise on her forehead and a gash in her scalp.

“DEAN! I NEED YOU!”

Dean ran as quickly as he could to the front to see their daughter limp in Castiel’s arms.

“What happened?”

“She needs to go to the ER, I think she might have a concussion.”

Castiel sat in the back with Justice while, Dean drove them to the local ER. They made it fairly quick and soon she was hooked up to a heart monitor and all of her vitals were taken before she was admitted. Her fathers paced outside in the waiting area, wracked with nerves. Their daughter had taken many tumbles in life but nothing ever happened to her head. After what seemed like an hour a doctor finally approached them.

“Well I’ve got good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?”

“The good news first.” They said in sync.

“Well the good news is that Justice will make a full recovery. She just needs to be observed for a day or two and then she can be discharged. We also found the cause of why she has been sick for a while.”

“Can you please tell us?” Dean asked nervously.

“I can tell you what she wanted me to say-”

“My baby girl is awake?” Dean was overjoyed.

“Calm down Mr. Winchester. She is awake fortunately. What I can say is that she did need stitches in her scalp for the cut but I told her some results from a blood sample we took and she’s put two and two together and she wants to tell you personally.”

“Can we go in and see her?” Castiel asked.

“Yes you may.” The doctor replied before walking off.

Justice was in a bed with red eyes and tissues on her lap. Her head had been bandaged and she also had a black eye forming.

“What’s wrong sweetheart? The doctor said you wanted to say something to us instead of her.” Castiel came up and sat next to her.

Justice was tearing up again, “Daddy I don’t know where to begin and I don’t know what to do?”

“Shhh baby girl, your fathers are here and we will love you no matter what. We will get through this. Take a deep breath and start from the beginning.”

Justice took a breath and exhaled slowly and began her story, “Do you remember that frat New Years party I went to two months ago? It was with my friends from the high school GSA?”

“What happened?” Dean got very serious in his voice.

“Well, I was handed a drink by one of my friends and I drank it and then about a few minutes later I blacked out on the couch next to Charlie.”

“And then what happened?” Castiel was now getting serious in his tone too.

“I don’t know how or when but, (Sniff) I woke up in a frat boy bed with my legs spread open and I was raw and sore down there.” She pointed at her crotch.

“You were raped and you didn’t tell us?” Dean was thoroughly pissed off now.

“I didn’t know if I was or not. There was no blood or anything and for all I know a girl could have done it too.”

“What happened next?” Castiel asked.

“I called a cab and came back home.”

“And you didn’t mention this why?” Her fathers’ said at the same time.

“I didn’t think it would matter till now.”

“So what you have an STI?” Castiel looked at Dean expecting the worst would be HIV or herpes.

“No, I’m pregnant.” And that sent Justice back into tears. Then her fathers’ rushed to her side and created a shell of protective love around her.

“Honey its ok. Really? You can decide on what you want to do. We support you no matter what.” Dean said into her ear as he kissed her cheek and rubbed her back.

“I don’t know what to do though, thats the problem.”

Then Dean and Castiel looked at each other and decided that today was the day to let the skeletons come out of the closet. They sat back down on each of her side and helped her breathe and calm down.

“Justice, its time you learned about the past now that this is happening to you.” Dean began.

“About what?” She replied.

Dean now needed to breathe for this next part, “You weren’t planned at all. You were conceived when your dad and I first met during a one night stand at Roadhouse.”

“We had gone through some really bitter break ups that night and we were drowning our sorrows there and we drunkenly hooked up in Ash’s bed because Ellen refused to let us leave her bar because of the state we were in.” Castiel continued.

“So, lots of kids aren’t planned, its no big deal.” She responded.

“Except that when I found out about you... I almost aborted you.” Dean dropped a bomb on his daughter’s relationship just now.

“WHAT?” She screeched.

“But I didn’t because I had to go through the waiting period of Kansas state for an abortion and I fell in love with you still inside of my. I fell in love with having you as my one and only love in my life and I didn’t go through with it. I kept you and never looked back. I even named you Justice because if it wasn’t for the justice system you wouldn’t be here talking to me.” Dean teared up. It was still after almost eighteen years and he still is haunted by that part of his past.

“Daddy?” She staring at Cas as she was too scared to look at Dean.

“Dean and I weren’t in contact when this happened. I didn’t find him again till I was in your uncle’s law office with my ex-wife making divorce agreements. He confessed to both of us and I didn’t stay in contact with your father till my divorce was finalized as he requested. Then we got back together, he let me move into our house, we grew closer and then became your parents and then got married a few months later.”

“Daddy, that doesn’t sound like all of it.” Justice knew there was more.

Castiel sighed and then ‘fessed up, “When you were a few months old, I got pregnant too. But we agreed to have an abortion because it was bad timing and we weren’t stable enough to handle two babies at once. So I had an abortion when you were two months old.”

Justice felt like the world was crumbling from under her feet. Everything she thought she knew was a lie.

“Father? Daddy? Why are you telling me this? Your scaring me.”

“Justice, sweetie, we are telling you this because we made our choices for our future and we want you to choose what you want to do. We will keep this between the three of us if you have an abortion and we will celebrate if you keep the baby.” Dean placed his hand on hers.

“What about adoption?” She was hesitant to ask.

“We wouldn’t agree with it, but you have a mind of your own and we will support you with any choice you make and it wouldn’t cost any of our love for you.” Castiel said to her.

Justice was now left with a lot to think about. “Do you think I could have an ultrasound done on me to help me choose?”

“I can call a doctor for you if you’d like.” Castiel replied, “Would you like us to leave when its happening?”

“Yes daddy. Both you and father.” They both left.

A nurse came a few minutes later with a sonogram machine, prepped Justice, and scanned her belly for the fetus.

“So I found the baby. There’s the little one.”

Justice looked at the monitor and saw exactly what her father saw all those years ago. Little blob inside of her with a heartbeat. She was in awe that there was a person inside of her. She immediately decided that terminating was not an option. Her father couldn’t have anymore kids after she was born and her daddy lost his womb to an ectopic pregnancy, they really wanted that baby too. She had a loving supportive family and her family was everything to her. Justice had made her mind up. 

“Ok so that’s the scan, did you want a picture?”

“Yes please.”

The nurse smiled, knowing that something good was going to happen. He fathers were granted permission to come back into the room after the nurse left.

“Daddies, I made a decision.” She was beaming with joy.

Dean and Cas were a little confused as to why Justice would be happy with what’s going on.

“What did you decide sweetheart?” Dean asked.

“I’m going to have the baby and keep it.”

“Justice sweetheart, thats very brave of you. We will love it just as much as you.” Dean hugged his daughter, crying into her neck.

“Father, what’s wrong?”

“I’m just happy that you are happy.”

“Did you at least want us to press charges against the father if we did a DNA test?” Castiel couldn’t help but ask. As much as he was happy with her decision he still wanted the rapist to be caught for assaulting their daughter.

“I don’t know who he is but it’s fine. I can raised her by myself and I’ll be happy every day I have her.”

“You think its a girl? Cause I thought you were a boy till you were born.” Dean asked.

“Its a girl, I’m positive.” Justice laughed.

 

Justice gave birth to a boy on the 25th of September 2033. He was a fussy baby and very clingy to his mama.

“Father, please give me back Declan.” She had her arms outreached as Dean gave his grandson back to her. She began to feed him and carry on the tradition of nursing only set by her father.

“I love him so much. I love you Declan Winchester.” She kissed the top of his head. She never found out who raped her but Justice didn’t mind, she had her wonderful son in her arms and the rest of her life with him. She was still able to finish high school and decided to try and start college in the spring semester next year. Her fathers by her side and the very loving family she had from the start made everything easier for her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much guys for reading this. I appreciate all the love I've gotten from this.
> 
> I wrote this because I am a proud feminist and Pro-Choice voter and I wanted to maybe show what choice is really about. Would I have an abortion? I'm 22 and I have a wonderful boyfriend and some financial stability. I wouldn't because I love kids and I want them. I would only have one for abnormalities (Like fatal, severe abnormalities) and some states are restricting abortions to 20 weeks which is the time frame that those would be detected. Every woman should be allowed to do what's best for her and I let everyone in my fan fic choose what they wanted to do with their bodies and their life.
> 
> Again, thanks for reading :)


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